EnigmA Amiga Run 1997 February/EnigmA AMIGA RUN 15 (1997)(G.R. Edizioni)(IT)[!][issue 1997-02][PLANET CD V].iso/enigma/earcd/testi/testi4/im961025.lha/diffs/quotes.diff

Text File | 1996-11-02 | 124KB | 3,614 lines

Apply on: CRC: 0x8034E829  File: quotes.list  Date: Fri Sep 27 01:00:00 1996
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CRC: 0xA60683DA  File: quotes.list  Date: Fri Nov  1 00:00:00 1996
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This is the Quotes List v1187 [Mon Oct 28 09:40:13 PST 1996]
31,48c31,48
 Actors               | Col Needham <[e-mail]>             | 10/11/96
 Actresses            | Col Needham <[e-mail]>          | 10/11/96
 Alternative Names    | Michel Hafner <[e-mail]>        | 10/11/96
 Alternative Titles   | Michel Hafner <[e-mail]>       | 10/11/96
 Alternative Versions | Giancarlo Cairella <[e-mail]>    | 10/11/96
 Biographies          | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>       | 10/11/96
 Business             | Giancarlo Cairella <[e-mail]>    | 10/04/96
 Cast Completion      | Col Needham <[e-mail]>                 | 10/11/96
 Certificates         | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>      | 10/11/96
 Cinematographers     | Michel Hafner <[e-mail]> | 10/11/96
 Color Information    | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>             | 10/11/96
 Composers            | Michel Hafner <[e-mail]>        | 10/11/96
 Costume Designers    | Harald Mayr <[e-mail]>           | 10/11/96
 Countries            | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>         | 10/11/96
 Crazy Credits        | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>     | 10/11/96
 Directors            | Col Needham <[e-mail]>          | 10/11/96
 Editors              | Harald Mayr <[e-mail]>            | 10/11/96
 Genres               | Colin Tinto <[e-mail]>             | 10/11/96
50,70c50,70
 Language             | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>     | 10/11/96
 Laser Discs          | Peter Simeon <[e-mail]>        | 10/11/96
 Literature           | Joachim Polzer <[e-mail]>      | 10/11/96
 Locations            | Rob Hartill <[e-mail]>          | 10/11/96
 Misc. Filmography    | Col Needham <[e-mail]>      | 10/11/96
 Movie Links          | Col Needham <[e-mail]>        | 10/11/96
 Movies               | Michel Hafner <[e-mail]>  | 10/11/96
 MPAA Ratings Reasons | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>               | 10/11/96
 Plot Summaries       | Colin Tinto <[e-mail]>              | 10/11/96
 Producers            | Andre Bernhardt <[e-mail]>      | 10/11/96
 Production Companies | Rob Hartill <[e-mail]>     | 10/11/96
 Production Designers | Harald Mayr <[e-mail]>     | 10/11/96
 Quotes               | Bob Glickstein <[e-mail]>          | 09/27/96
 Ratings              | Col Needham <[e-mail]>                 | 10/11/96
 Release Dates        | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>     | 10/11/96
 Running Times        | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>     | 10/11/96
 SFX Companies        | Rob Hartill <[e-mail]>     | 10/11/96
 Sound Mix            | Mark Harding <[e-mail]>         | 10/11/96
 Soundtracks          | Ron Higgins <[e-mail]>        | 10/11/96
 Tag Lines            | Rob Hartill <[e-mail]>          | 10/11/96
 Technical Info       | Peter Simeon <[e-mail]>            | 10/11/96
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 Writers              | Jon Reeves <[e-mail]>             | 10/11/96
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 uiarchive.cso.uiuc.edu  in  /pub/info/imdb/tools/moviedb-3.2g.tar.gz
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 ftp.funet.fi  in  /pub/culture/tv+film/database/tools/moviedb-3.2g.tar.gz
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 ftp.fu-berlin.de  in  /pub/misc/movies/database/tools/moviedb-3.2g.tar.gz
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 ftp.sunet.se  in  /pub/tv+movies/imdb/tools/moviedb-3.2g.tar.gz
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 sunsite.mff.cuni.cz  in  /MultiMedia/Movies/Database/tools/moviedb-3.2g.tar.gz
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Detective Creighton: I know we're Valley detectives so we're not all
  that bright, but how stupid does he think we are?
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Chandra: Whether we are based on carbon or silicon makes no
  fundamental difference. We should each be treated with appropriate
  respect.

Bowman: You see, something's going to happen. You must leave.
Floyd: What? What's going to happen?
Bowman: Something wonderful.
Floyd: What?
Bowman: I understand how you feel. You see, it's all very clear to me
  now. The whole thing. It's wonderful.

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Dr. Lao: The whole world is a circus if you know how to look at it.

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# Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

Larry Talbot: You don't understand. Every night when the moon is full,
  I turn into a wolf.
Wilbur: You and twenty million other guys!


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Frenzy: When I was dressed up like you for the last time, someone
  offered me twenty dollars for half an hour.
Maischa: You shoud have accepted!
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Brigman, Lindsay: We all see what we want to see. Coffey looks and he
  sees Russians. He sees hate and fear. You have to look with better
  eyes than that.

Lt. Coffey: We don't need them. We can't trust them. We may have to
  take steps. We're gonna have to take steps.

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Mrs. Finkle: If he had held the ball laces out like he's supposed to,
  Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of
  gonorrhea and rot in hell!

Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be
  gone!
Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two?

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# Addams Family, The (1991)

Morticia: Wednesday, play with your food!


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Lord John Whorfin: May I pass along my congratulations for your great
  interdimensional breakthrough. I am sure, in the miserable annals of
  the Earth, you will be duly inscribed.

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Artie: I don't care if you drove through a mountain in Texas.  This is
  New Jersey, and when you play my, when you play my joint, you're
  just another act.  I want some music outta you characters.
Reno: You want it, Artie?  You got it.

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Lt. Amos: Two words. "Disco Express."
Ford Fairlane: Disco Express? They blew dog! And that lead singer, he
  kinda looked like...
Lt. Amos: Like ME, right?
Ford Fairlane: Yeah! I was gonna say he looked like shit, but...he
  looked like you.

Ford Fairlane: Hey, great pipes, huh? I've heard cats fuck with more
  harmony.

Ford Fairlane: I could crack my knuckles with more rhythm!

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# Air Cadet (1951)

Jerry Connell: Buddy of mine once told me that he'd rather fly a jet
  than kiss his girl. Said it gave him more of a kick.
Walt Carver: No foolin!
Joe Czanoczek: Maybe he oughta get another girl!


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[As the plane prepares to take off.]
Old lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Old lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

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Roger Murdock: We have clearance Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur! Oveur.
Tower voice: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Captain Oveur: Huh?

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Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

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Ted Striker: I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force, but this
  plane has four engines. It's an entirely different kind of flying
  altogether.
All: It's an entirely different kind of flying.

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Cpl. Hicks: Hey! I know we're all in strung out shape but stay frosty
  and alert. We can afford to let one of those bastards in here.

Ellen Ripley: I don't know wich species is worse. You don't see them
  fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage!

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# American in Paris, An (1951)

Jerry Mulligan: Back home everyone said I didn't have any talent. They
  might be saying the same thing over here but it sounds better in
  French.

Adam Cook: I'm a concert pianist. That's a pretentious way of saying
  I'm... unemployed at the moment.

Jerry Mulligan: That's... quite a dress you almost have on.
Milo Roberts: Thanks.
Jerry Mulligan: What holds it up?
Milo Roberts: Modesty.


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# Angel Heart (1987)

Louis Cyphre: You know what they say about slugs. They always leave
  slime in their tracks.


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Col. Kurtz: What do you call assassins who accuse assassins?

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Arthur Bach: Girls, girls, girls! I love girls!

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[Walken, Christopher]: Most people who drive through here see
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# Ator, The Fighting Eagle (1983)

Ator: Father, why can I not marry sister?


# August (1996)

Ieuan Davies: Scribble, scribble, scribble... Makes you feel sorry for
  the paper, doesn't it?


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# Back to the Future Part III (1990)

[Doc Brown and Marty are hijacking the train.]
Doctor Emmett Brown: Reach!
Engineer: Is this a holdup?
Doctor Emmett Brown: It's a science experiment!

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# Bad and the Beautiful, The (1952)

Victor "Gaucho" Ribera: Don't talk like that about Georgia - or
  Jonathan. He's a great man!
Lila: Hah hah. There are no great men, buster! There's only men!

Victor "Gaucho" Ribera: To give truth to a performance, there's
  nothing like love.
Georgia Lorrison: Love is for the very young.
Lila: Love is for the birds!


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Penguin to Catwoman: You're beauty and beast.

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Willie from a window: Hey.
Marty: Romeo and Juliet, the dyslexic version.

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Messala: By condemning without hesitation an old friend, I shall be
  feared.

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Charles De Mar: I've been at this high school for 7 years, I'm no
  dummy.

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Pascal: Bite your teeth into the ass of life.

Secondo: Sometimes spaghetti just likes to be alone.

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Primo: Give people time, they will learn.
Secondo: This is a restaurant! This is not a fucking school!

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Colonel Oates: Get down and give me infinity.
Bill: There is no way we could possibly do infinity push-ups.
Ted: Well maybe if he lets us do them girly-style...

Bill: Ted, don't fear the reaper!
Grim Reaper: I heard that!

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Grim Reaper: You have sunk my battleship!
Bill and Ted: Yes!
Grim Reaper: You must play me again.
Bill: WHAT?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best two out of three.

Grim Reaper: I predict Colonel Mustard did it in the cellar with a
  candlestick.
Bill: Sorry, death, you lose!  It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper: I said Plum!
Ted: No, you didn't!  Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best three out of five!

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Ted to Socrates: All we are is dust in the wind, dude.

History Teacher: Who was Joan of Arc?
Ted: Noah's wife?

Ted: I can't believe your dad's actually going for it in your room!
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Your step-mom is cute, though.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when I asked her out to the prom?
Bill: Shut up Ted!!

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Principal: At no point in your rambling, did you even come close to an
  intelligent thought. I award you no points, may God have mercy on
  your soul.
Billy Madison: A simple no would've done just fine.

Busdriver: That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ass. I know from
  experience, dude.
Billy Madison: No you don't.
Busdriver: I don't. But a friend of mine...he and her, got it on!
  Wooo-eee!
Billy Madison: No, no they didn't.
Busdriver: You're right...but you can imagine what it'd be like.

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# Blame It on Rio (1984)

Eduardo Marques: You are, how you say, the queer couple?
Matthew Hollis: Odd couple, odd.

Matthew Hollis: Do you miss me at all?
Karen Hollis: At all? Yes dear, I miss you at all.

Victor Lyons: They smiled. Maybe we should talk to them.
Matthew Hollis: We can't. They're practically naked.
Victor Lyons: Try to picture them with clothes on.

Victor Lyons: That lady is my kind of guy. Don't wait up.

Jennifer Lyons: Make love to me.
Matthew Hollis: I'm twenty years older than you.
Jennifer Lyons: Twenty-eight.

Isabella: You are my twelfth lover in twelve days.
Victor Lyons: Really?
Isabella: I don't hurt your feelings?
Victor Lyons: No, I've always been a team player.

Matthew Hollis: Kiss you? I ought to spank you!
Jennifer Lyons: Oh, please, and bite me too.

Matthew Hollis: Last night never happened.
Jennifer Lyons: I know. I was there when it didn't.

Nicole Hollis: I'm no longer a carnivore. I don't eat anything that's
  ever had parents.

Jennifer Lyons: Do you hate me?
Nicole Hollis: No, him. Does he tell you he loves you?
Jennifer Lyons: No.
Nicole Hollis: You'll get used to it.

Victor Lyons: You slept with someone? Why didn't you tell me?
Jennifer Lyons: I just did.
Victor Lyons: Now you tell me? What good does it do me now?
Jennifer Lyons: What good is it SUPPOSED to do you?

Jennifer Lyons: Poor Daddy!
Matthew Hollis: Oh, yours or Nicole's?
Jennifer Lyons: Mine.
Matthew Hollis: Oh, that poor daddy. You can't swing a dead cat around
  here without hitting a poor daddy.

Jennifer Lyons: That's not your lifeline, that's your heartline.
Matthew Hollis: Teeny little thing, isn't it?

Nicole Hollis: She's in love, you know?
Matthew Hollis: She thinks so.
Nicole Hollis: If you think so, you are.

Victor Lyons: What the hell are you doing, asking for her hand? With
  this teething ring I thee wed?

Matthew Hollis: It was, quite simply, the worst night of my life, my
  embarrassment compounded by the fact that Victor had now slept with
  two out of the three members of my family.

Jennifer Lyons: Will you forget me?
Matthew Hollis: The minute I die.

Victor Lyons: We've got a lot to talk about.
Jennifer Lyons: I know. I'm so glad you're leaving.


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Hedley Lamarr: Meeting adjourned! Oh, I am sorry sir I didn't mean to
  overstep my bounds, you say that.
Governor Lepetomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned.
Governor Lepetomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: No, you say that governor!
Governor Lepetomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned!
Governor Lepetomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: Here sir, play with this! [Hands the governor a rubber
  ball and paddle set.]

Lilly von Schtupp: Hello, cowboy. Wha's your name?
Cowboy: Tex, Ma'am!
Lilly von Schtupp: Texmam? Well, tell me Texmam, are you in show
  business?
Cowboy: Well, no, ma'am.
Lilly von Schtupp: Then why don't you get your fwiggin' feet off o'
  the stage!

Lyle: The way you was lollygagging with them picks and shovels, you
  would think it was a hundred and twenty degrees out here. Can't be
  more 'n a hundred and fourteen!

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Dorothy Vallens: What are you doing in my closet, Jeffrey Beaumont?

Dorothy Vallens: I have a part of you with me. You put your disease in
  me. It helps me. It makes me strong.

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Jeffrey Beaumont: Oh, maybe if you find the right girl...
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Frank Booth: Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!
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Jeffrey Beaumont: It's a strange world.
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Elwood Blues: The light was yellow, sir.

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# Boomerang (1992)

Angela: What do you know about love? What could you possibly know
  about love You know, I'm sick and tired of men using love as if it's
  some disease you just catch. Love should have brought your ass home
  last night.


# Border Incident (1949)

Zopilote: What is cheaper than time, senor? Everybody has the same
  amount.


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Rocco: Charity work. I gather these for those less fortunate than
  myself who can't afford pornography.

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Roland T. Flakfizer: Okay, fourteen then. In fact I know she's
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Allison: I'll do anything sexual and I don't need a million dollars to
  do it either.
Claire: You're lying.
Allison: I already have. I've done about everthing there is except a
  few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Claire: Lie.
Brian: Are your parents aware of this?
Allison: The only person I told was my shrink.
Brian: And what did he do when you told him?
Allison: He nailed me.
Claire: Very nice.
Allison: I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did can be
  construed as rape since I paid him.
Claire: He's an adult.
Allison: Yeah, he's married too.
Claire: Do you have any idea how completely gross that is?
Allison: Well, the first few times-
Claire: The first few times? You mean you did it more than once?
Allison: Of course.
Claire: Are you crazy?
Brian: Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink.
Allison: Have you ever done it?
Claire: I don't even have a psychiatrist.
Allison: Have you ever done it with a normal person?
Claire: Didn't we already cover this?
John: You never answered the question.
Claire: Look, I'm not going to discuss my private life with total
  strangers.
Allison: It's kind of a double edged sword isn't it?
Claire: What?
Allison: Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you
  have you re a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't and when
  you do you wish you didn't right?
Claire: Wrong.
Allison: Or are you a tease?
Andrew: She's a tease.
Claire: I'm sure. Why don't you just forget it.
Andrew: Oh, you're a tease and you know it, all girls are teases.
John: She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot.
Claire: I don't do anything.
Allison: That's why you're a tease.
Claire: OK, let me ask you a few questions.
Allison: I already told you everything.
Claire: No, Doesn't it bother you to, sleep around without being in
  love. Don't you want any respect?
Allison: I don't screw to get respect. That's the difference between
  you and me.
Claire: Not the only difference I hope.
John: Face it, you're a tease.
Claire: I'm NOT a tease.
John: Sure you are. Sex is your weapon you said it yourself, you use
  it to get respect.
Claire: No, I never said that she twisted my words around.
John: What do you use it for then?
Claire: I don't use it period!
John: Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological?
Claire: I didn't mean it that way! You guys are putting words into my
  mouth.
John: Well, if you'd just answer the question.
Brian: Why don't you just answer the question?
Andrew: Be honest.
John: No big deal.
Brian: Yeah answer it.
Andrew: Answer the question, Claire.
John: Talk to us.
Every one: Answer the question. Come on. Answer it!
Claire: NO I NEVER DID IT!
Allison: I never did it either.

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Robert: The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but
  glad I had them.

Robert Kincaid: I dont want to need you, 'cause I can't have you.

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# Brief Encounter (1945)

Laura Jesson: It's awfully easy to lie when you know that your're
  trusted implicitly. So very easy, and so very degrading.


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Rochester: Is it rainin' outside?
[Benny, Jack]: No, Rochester, I was eating a grapefruit and it got out
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# Bullshot (1983)

White, Diz: I can't control this thing between my legs!


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  are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope
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  see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those
  with loaded guns and those who dig.  You dig.
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Brian: So did I.
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Al Cservik: Anybody who buys a hat like that oughta get a free bowl of
  soup to go with it. Oh, but it looks good on you, though.

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# Canadian Bacon (1994)

Boomer: Y'know, it's a free country. If he doesn't like it here, he
  can swim across the river to Canada. Lotta work there.

Boomer: If life hands you a lemon, you gotta crush it into lemonade.

Hacker: Here he is now. The man that a thin majority of you chose to
  be the president of the United States.

President: It's time to turn off that war machine, and turn on our
  children.

General Panzer: What do you want to do, sir? About Russia, sir?
President: Yeah, why don't we call up and find out who's in charge
  over there this week.

Russian President: Mr. President, please. Is this why you called us
  here? We already gave up! You won! We are too busy trying to perfect
  universal indoor plumbing!

Russian President: You're in charge of the world, now. Don't be such a
  sore winner!

Roy Boy: How come you never see any black guys playing hockey?
Kabral: Now do you think it's easy to just gradually take over every
  professional sport? Let me tell you something, man. Brothers have
  started figuring out this ice thing. Hope you enjoyed it!

Boomer: I'll tell ya another thing: their beer sucks!

Boomer: I want to call the American embassy! All I said was "Canadian
  beer sucks!"
Kabral: People! People! Can't we all just get along?

Smiley: How do you know that was a nuclear facility?
General Panzer: Well, they tricked us on that one. That's a
  hospital. But it's a hell of a strike!

Gus: These Canadians suffer from a serious inferiority complex. That's
  why they built this: The Canadian National Tower! World's largest
  free-standing structure!

Gus: Canadians are always dreaming up a lotta ways to ruin our
  lives. The metric system, for the love of God! Celsius! Neil Young!

President: The American people, Mr. Smiley, would never ever buy this.
Smiley: Mr. President, the American people will buy whatever we tell
  them to.

TV Announcer: The Canadians. They walk among us. William
  Shatner. Michael J. Fox. Monty Hall. Mike Meyers. Alex Trebek. All
  of them Canadians. All of them here.

[TV Announcer describes the Canadian National Tower in Toronto]
TV Announcer: It is the height of six American football fields, or
  five Canadian football fields. As if Canadian football really
  counts.

Smiley: When have you ever heard anyone say, 'Honey, lets stay in and
  order Canadian food'?

TV Announcer: Think of your children pledging allegiance to the maple
  leaf. Mayonnaise on everything. Winter 11 months of the year. Anne
  Murray - all day, every day.

Hacker: The American public's attention span is about as long as your
  dick.

TV Announcer: Like maple syrup, Canada's evil oozes over the United
  States.

Honey: Kabral, what does this look like to you?
Kabral: Got me. I never saw a white one that size.

Roy Boy: Are you sure we're in Canada?
Honey: You smell anything?
Roy Boy: No.
Honey: Exactly. Canada!

President: I want to say to Prime Minister MacDonald: Surrender her
  pronto, or we'll level Toronto.

Boomer: There's not a locked door in the whole country.

Mountie: Who are you?
Boomer: I'm your worst nightmare. I'm a citizen with a constitutional
  right to bear arms!

[The Mountie explains that Honey has been taken to the capital.]
Boomer: The capital Toronto.
Mountie: No, the capital of Canada is Ottawa.
Boomer: Yeah, right. Do we look that stupid? Ottawa!
Roy Boy: Nice try, Dudley.

President's aide: Sir, the Helms amendment and NSC order 725 both
  specifically prohibit the use of Omega Force against Caucasians.

[Highway patrolman tells Boomer why his graffiti must be in both
  English and French]
Highway Patrolman: Le Quebecois.
Boomer: Huh?
Highway Patrolman: You know. Wine drinkers. Pea soup eaters. French
  Canadians!

Highway Patrolman: I do have to fine you. That will be a thousand
  dollars Canadian, or 10 American dollars if you prefer.

Candy Striper: Oh we're not doctors. We're candy stripers! Our
  universal health care system has determined that you don't actually
  need a doctor until...
Candy Striper: ...2006!

Boomer: There it is, men. Toronto.
Roy Boy: It's beautiful. Like no other city I've ever seen. It's like
  Albany. Only cleaner.

RCMP Helecopter: Attention, please. Attention, please. This is the
  Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Would you come down from the tower,
  please.
Honey: If you say "please" one more time, I'm gonna let you have it!

President: You sold control of American missiles to a foreign country?
Hacker: If you can call Canada foreign.
Smiley: Or a country.

General Panzer: Let me level with you, sir. I would destroy any nation
  - even my own - if my president gave the order.


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# Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1988)

Frat Rat: This is gonna be a toga party and a beer bust, and for
  special girls like you, we are going to be having a wet T-shirt
  contest.
Bunny: But all my T-shirts are dry.

Jim: Do you know what jungle herb cures the poisonous bite of the
  river snake? Do you know where the only land route is around the
  white waters of death? Do you know the way through the secret maze
  caves that lie underneath hangman's cliff? Huh, do you?
Margo Hunt: Well, no, I don't.  Do you?
Jim: Well, no, but I have this paperback.

Dr. Margo Hunt: Dr. Kurtz, I'm unfamiliar with the academic guidelines
  at Radcliffe, but I would think any major university would consider
  warring on the United States and eating prisoners of war a serious
  breach of ethics.
Dr. Kurtz: Always the cautious scholar, huh, Dr. Hunt?

Dr. Margo Hunt: Bunny, Bunny, you don't have to live your life to
  please me. The important thing is that you're happy. And as for what
  I've taught you, well, listen, I've always believed that every woman
  should get as much education and intellectual stimulation as
  possible, and that she should develop her mental abilities to their
  utmost potential. But in your case, well, there's just no point.

Dr. Kurtz: All right, I was exploiting the Piranha women. You don't
  know what it was like. David Letterman, God, the horror... the
  horrow of that show... the horror.

Dr. Margo Hunt: The women of this jungle must unite, and I'm going to
  settle a score with a certain renegade ethnographer.

Jim: I'd rather have you kill me than make me a gelding.

Jim: Gee, you guys are pretty big, for wimps. Of course, the joke's on
  you when those broads come back and start picking out ingredients
  for chicken McMacho.

Jim: Bunny, don't worry! You'll save me!

Dr. Margo Hunt: The secret temple of the Piranha women. Their
  architecture is surprisingly advanced.
Jim: It looks like a big lego to me.

Bunny: I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked. I
  suppose it isn't very liberated, is it? What kind of fantasies do
  feminists have?

Jim: All you women have ever done is, what? Some French chick invented
  kryptonite, or something.

Margo Hunt: It was a one-night stand. I was half-drunk and left right
  after we had sex. We didn't say eight words to each other, and all
  yours were composed of one syllable.
Jim: Hah!  Just like you to count the words, Dr. Hunt.

Margo Hunt: They're an ancient commune of feminists, so radical, so
  militant, so left of center they... they eat their men.
Bunny: Oh, that.  Well, if I like a guy, I usually start at--
Margo Hunt: They don't eat their men like that, Bunny.


5041a5657,5660
Carlito: Don't take me to no hospital, please. Fuckin' emergency rooms
  don't save nobody. Som-bitches, always pop you at midnight, when all
  they got is a Chinese intern with a dull spoon.

5255a5875,5887
# Caught (1996)

Betty: Fish are his life.
Joe: Fish been very, very good to me.

Joe: If any customer finds a bone in their fish, I give them their
  money back plus a quarter.

Betty: I want to go places.
Joe: You want to go places? Get up at 5:00AM, I'll take you to
  Fulton's Fish Market.


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Susan Sarandon: You wouldn't have to get drunk to bed Catherine
5285a5918,5935
# Chamber, The (1996)

Lee Bowen: Pretty good for poor white trash. How well I'll be accepted
  after everybody finds out I'm Hitler's daughter is another thing.

Lee Bowen: We come from a long line of hate.

Sam Cayhall: Save me. Your don't look like you can save a turkey from
  Thanksgiving.

Nora Stark: You're in Mississippi now - land of the secrets. There are
  bodies buried everywhere.

Sam Cayhall: If you spend half as much time trying to be a lawyer
  instead of trying to be Dick Tracy, I might not be dead in five
  days.


5389a6040,6090
# Charme discret de la bourgeoisie, Le (1972)

[The Senechals are preparing to make love. There is a knock at the
  door.]
Henri Senechal: What is it?
Ines: The guests are here, sir.
Henri Senechal: Tell them we'll be down. Serve them drinks.
Alice Senechal: They can wait five minutes. Come on.
Henri Senechal: No, no, not here. We can't.
Alice Senechal: But why?
Henri Senechal: You scream too loud. You know it.

[Francois Thevenot has unknowingly interrupted an illicit rendezvous
  between his wife and Rafael Acosta.]
Francois Thevenot: Coming home with me?
Mme. Thevenot: Yes.
Rafael Acosta: No, no, wait. Let her stay just two minutes more. I
  must show her the sursiks.
Francois Thevenot: What?
Rafael Acosta: The sursiks.
Francois Thevenot: Ah, yes. I'll wait in the car.
Mme. Thevenot: I'll come right away.
[Francois Thevenot leaves.]
Mme. Thevenot: What are sursiks?
Rafael Acosta: I don't know. It doesn't matter. Come quick!

Rafael Acosta: You're better suited for making love than for making
  war.

[Bishop Dufour is being introduced to the ambassador from Miranda.]
Bishop Dufour: I'm delighted to meet you. We have an important mission
  in Bogota.
Rafael Acosta: Bogota is in Colombia.
Bishop Dufour: That's right, Colombia. Sorry, I got mixed up. I've
  never been to Miranda, but I hear it is a magnificent country: the
  Great Cordillera, the pampas...
Rafael Acosta: The pampas are in Argentina, monsignor.
Bishop Dufour: The pampas. Of course. I should've known that. Recently
  I saw a book on Latin America. There were photos of your ancient
  pyramids.
Rafael Acosta: Our pyramids? We have no pyramids in Miranda. Mexico
  and Guatemala have pyramids. We don't.
Bishop Dufour: You're sure?
Rafael Acosta: Absolutely.

Colonel: Marijuana isn't a drug. Look at what goes on in Vietnam. From
  the general down to the private, they all smoke.
Mme. Thevenot: As a result, once a week they bomb their own troops.
Colonel: If they bomb their own troops, they must have their reasons.


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# China (1943)

Mr. Jones: I knew a girl like you once. She had an act in a
  circus. Used to crack a whip and make lions jump through paper
  hoops.
Carolyn Grant: And you prefer the lipstick sort, huh?
Mr. Jones: Yes, mostly because I don't like jumping through paper
  hoops.

Jeeter Lester: Why, Ada here never...never spoke a word to me for the
  first ten years we was married. Heh! Them was the happiest ten years
  of my life.


5614a6330,6337
# City That Never Sleeps (1953)

Sally 'Angel Face' Connors: When I first came to this town I was gonna
  be-- oh, there were a lot of things I was gonna do. Become
  famous. But Chicago's the big melting pot, and I got melted, but
  good.


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Randal reading a magazine: Have you ever wondered how much the average
  jizz-mopper makes per hour?
Dante: What's a jizz-mopper?
Randal: He's the guy that cleans up the nudie booth after each guy
  jerks off.
Dante: Nudie booth?
Randal: Yeah, nudie booth.  You've never been in a nudie booth?
Dante: I guess not.
Randal: Oh, it's great.  There's this glass between you and these
  chicks, and they put on a show for you for like 10 bucks.
Dante: What kinda show?
[Customer walks up to counter with merchandise.]
Randal: They do the weirdest, craziest shit you like to see chicks do.
  They insert things into any opening on their body - ANY opening.
Dante: Could we not talk about this right now?
Randal: The jizz-mopper's job is to clean off the glass after each guy
  shoots a load.  I don't know if you noticed, but cum leaves streaks
  if you don't clean it right away.
Customer: I will never come to this place again!
Dante: I'm sorry?
Customer: Using filthy language in front of the customers, you both
  should be fired!
Dante: I'm sorry, I guess we got carried away.
Customer: I don't know if sorry could make up for it, you've highly
  offended me.
Randal: Well if you thinks that's offensive, check this out! [Shows
  him graphic picture from porn mag.] I think you can see her kidneys!

5765c6516,6537
  while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

[Randal is on the phone when a woman and little girl come to the
  counter.]
Woman with daughter: Excuse me, do you sell videos?
Randal: Yeah, what're you looking for?
Woman with daughter: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Randal: Okay, hang on, I'm on the phone with the distribution house
  now, lemme make sure we got it. What was it called again?
Woman with daughter: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Daughter: Happy Scrappy...
Woman with Daughter: She loves it.
Randal: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number
  4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the
  following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It
  Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking
  Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My
  Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum
  Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks
  and Pearly White Cum", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink
  Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard
  Cock". Uh-huh...yeah...Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?
5769a6542,6543
Gabe burning the stolen money: It costs a fortune to heat this place.

5794a6569,6572
Alex: There was me, that is alex, and my three droogs, that is pete,
  georgie, and dim. And we sat in the Korova milk bar trying to make
  up our razudoks what to do with the evening.

5865a6644,6645
Claude Lacombe: Major Walsh, it is an event surlogique.

5890a6671,6677
Wadsworth: We're like the Mounties; we always get our man.
Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?

Mr. Green: If you want to know who killed Mr. Boddy, I did. In the
  hall, with the revolver. Take 'em away, chief. I'm going to go home
  and sleep with my wife.

6134c6921
Bennett: Put the knife away and shut your mouth.
6163a6951,6952
Thulsa Doom: Infidel Defilers. They shall all drown in lakes of blood.

6172a6962,6970
Conan: The riddle...of steel.
Thulsa Doom: Yes! You know what it is don't you boy. Shall I tell you?
  It's the least I can do. Steel isn't strong boy, flesh is
  stronger!Look around you. There, on the rocks; that beautiful
  girl. Come to me my child... That is strength boy! That is power!
  What is steel compared to the hand that wields it? Look at the
  strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this!
  Such a waste. Contemplate this on the tree of woe. Crucify him!

6236a7035,7039
Dragline: A woman that beautiful gotta be named Lucille.

Carl: Any man caught playing grabass in the shower spends a night in
  the box.

6334a7138,7145
# Creator (1985)

Boris: You know, Harry, I'm still trying to find the big picture but I
  keep missing it because I am so in love with Barabara that nothing
  else matters.
Dr. Wolper: What makes you think you are missing it?


6415a7227,7232
# Criminal Hearts (1995)

Thackler: Didn't your mama ever tell you not to put anything bigger
  than your elbow in your ear?


6461a7279,7283
Tin Tin: Murderer? Murderer!? Let me tell you a little something about
  murder. It's fun, it's easy, and you gonna learn all about
  it. [pulls out two blades] I'd like you to meet two buddies of
  mine. We never miss.

6465a7288,7289
Eric Draven: They're all dead. They just don't know it yet.

6470a7295,7302
Sarah: What are you supposed to be, some kinda clown or something?
Eric Draven: Sometimes.

Gideon: Please, I'm beggin' you. Don't kill me.
Eric Draven: I'm not going to kill you. Your job will be to tell the
  rest of them that death is coming for them. Tell them, Eric Draven
  sends his regards.

6554a7387,7389
Hale: I don't like to see her upset.
Doug: If I was you, I'd invest in blindfolds.

6605a7441,7444
# Dangerous, The (1994)

Thug: Aw, here it comes. Won't be doin' much breathing after this.

6654a7494,7496
Wooderson: The older you get the more rules they are going to try and
  get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin man! L-I-V-I-N!

6718a7561,7568
Mr. Alfeldt (in a clip from Johnny Eager (1941)): Don't go near my
  daughter again. Don't try to see her. Don't write her and don't
  phone her.
Rigby Reardon: Can I use her underwear to make soup?

Rigby Reardon: What's he paying you boys?  I'll double it and we'll
beat the shit out of HIM.

6819a7670,7672
Carver: So tell me, how does it feel to kill a man?
Stevens: You're god, so you should already know.

6847a7701,7725
# Delirious (1991)

Jack: And what did I learn from all of this? I guess the most
  important thing is that you're better off just being
  yourself. Unless, of course, you get a chance to be Robert Wagner.

Carter Hedison: Lighten up, Ty, you're just like your mother, too
  thin-skinned.
Ty: I suppose that's why she committed suicide?  If it was suicide!
Carter Hedison: For the very last time, I did not hire Dash Andrews to
  kill your mother.
Ty: If she was my mother!

Ty: Always protecting Blake, Daddy. Sometimes I wish I wasn't your
  son. If I am your son!

Jack: What are you doing here? I sent you to Cleveland.
Jack Gates: I should kill you for that alone.

[While Ty fixates on his sister Rachel.]
Ty: That's what Jack Gates is after. The only thing I don't understand
  is why he wants to get his hand up your dress. I mean--
Blake: We all know what you meant, Ty.


6899a7778,7784
# Desperado (1995)

El Mariachi: Did I ever thank you for saving my life?
Carolina: No.
El Mariachi: I will.


7026a7912,7914
Mia: Am I alive?
Nicole: No, you are dead, this is Heaven and I am Virgin Mary.

7117a8006,8009
John McClane: Hey, Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off
  the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your
  brain?

7124a8017,8027
[McClane is forced to crawl through yet another ventilation system]
John McClane: Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. A
  little eggnog...a fuckin' Christmas tree...a little turkey. But, no!
  I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can!

[McClane is showing his nervousness while riding in a helicopter]
Chopper Pilot: What's the matter, cowboy? Ride too rough?
John McClane: I don't like to fly.
Samantha Coleman: Then what are you doing here?
John McClane: I don't like to lose either.

7349a8253,8258
# Dolores Claiborne (1994)

Dolores Claiborne: Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold
  on to.


7669a8579,8616
# Dream Team, The (1989)

Billy Caulfield: Ah, it's great to be young and insane!

Billy Caulfield: Restaurant security. Just a minor utensil
  violation. Go ahead, enjoy your dinner.

Dr. Weitzman: There's about 65,000 seats up at that stadium. But I
  don't want you to get your hopes up, because they're all screwed
  down.

Jack McDermott: I am the Lord they God. Thou shalt not have strange
  gods before Me. Out of my way, asshole.


# Drifter, The (1988)

Morrison: Even crazy people have reasons, they just have crazy
  reasons.

Maddie: Well, what's he like?
Julia: Well, he's different.
Maddie: Different? How?
Julie: For one thing, he's fucking crazy.

Julia: I don't know whether to suck it or shoot it off.

Julia: Look, I better get going. I have a presentation tomorrow.
Trey: Well, I'll see you later.
Julia: I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Trey: Why?
Julia: I lead a very simple life.
Trey: So do I.
Julia: For me right now you would be a major complication.
Trey: I'm not very complicated.
Julia: I think I liked this better when there was no words.


7687a8635,8637
Rufus T. Firefly: I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot
  stove, and I can't see the stove.

7781a8732,8733
Paul Atreides: My name is a killing word.

7810a8763,8768
# East of Sumatra (1953)

Cowboy: Just think, within slingin' distance of a dead cat, there's
  millions o' unborn beer cans! Nature sure is wonderful.


7857,7858c8815,8833
Bunny Breckenridge: Very good.  Now let's hear him call Karloff a
  cocksucker.


# Ed's Next Move (1996)

Eddie Brodsky: In some things, the more I analyze them the less clear
  they become.

Eddie Brodsky: Four women in the same elevator. I haven't been with
  four women in the same time zone.

Eddie Brodsky: Sex is not a transitive act. It is an intransitive act.
Ray Obregon: If you talk like that to her, it will be a non-existent
  act.

Lee Nicol: You're so, so normal.

Lee Nicol: I wish there were more bad times to see you through.
7875a8851,8853
[Emma shoots a badly-aimed arrow]
Mr. Knightley: Try not to kill my dogs.

7900a8879,8881
Mitch: Why do I get the feeling that I'm being totally screwed?
Joe: Because you are, Mitch.

8220a9202,9205
Merlin: Looking at the cake is like looking at the future, until
  you've tasted it what do you really know? And then, of course, it's
  too late. [Arthur takes a bite.] Too late.

8239a9225,9229
# Extreme Measures (1996)

Dr. Guy Luthan: You're quite a creepy person.


8483a9474,9475
Max: Pray for us. This is the hour of our death.

8509a9502,9507
Freddie: Time is like an orange. It's round. It repeats
  itself. Everything happens for a reason.

Freddie: I dream of being in a Las Vegas hotel where all of the towels
  smell like Downy Fabric Softener.

8518a9517,9519
Ed Rooney: Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief.
Sloan: Great.

8701a9703,9709
# Firefly, The (1937)

Don Diego: You have one bad habit.
Nina Maria Azara: Oh, yes? What?
Don Diego: You're always saying good-bye.
Nina Maria Azara: Very well then, I won't say good-bye. I'll just go!

8714a9723,9725
King Arthur: There are laws that enslave men, and laws that set them
  free.

8725a9737,9755
Ivana Trump: Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and
  remember, don't get mad, get everything.

Elise Elliot Atchison: If only she'd called me. If only I was listed.

Dr. Morris Packman: If I give you any more collagen, they'll look like
  they were stuck in a pool drain.

Bill: You vindictive sack of silicone!

Brenda Morelli Cushman: Look at you. My, my, the bulimia sure has paid
  off.

Catherine: You are married. You have a daughter. You don't need
  self-esteem.

Elise Elliot Atchison: It's the 90s, plastic surgery is like good
  grooming.

8731a9762,9764
Otto: You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp,
  scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.

8774a9808,9810
Clytus: Who are you?
Flash Gordon: Flash Gordon: Quarterback, New York Jets.

8812a9849,9853
# Flesh and Fury (1952)

Sonya Bartow: I love you too, Paul... in my own funny way.


8929a9971,9983
# Fly Away Home (1996)

David Alden: You must be Amy. I gave you Silly Putty once for
  Christmas. You ate it.

David Alden: With this baby you could fly over the Empire State
  Building.
Tom Alden: Or end up as a big pound of ground round. One of the two.

Susan Barnes: Broken promises are the worst. Better not to promise
  anything.


8971,8972c10025,10026
Nan Prescott to Vivian: As long as there are sidewalks, you've got a
  job.
9216a10271,10275
# French Kiss (1995)

Kate: Fester, fester, fester. Rot, rot, rot.


9235a10295,10304
Richard Gecko: The Ranger's taking a piss. Why don't I just go there,
  blow his head off and get outta here.
Pete Bottoms: Don't do that! Look, you asked me to act natural, and
  I'm acting as natural - in fact, under the circumstances, I think I
  ought get a fuckin' Academy Award for how natural I'm acting.

Sex Machine: So what's your name, darlin'?
Kate: Kate. What's yours?
Sex Machine: Sex Machine, pleased to meet you.

9243a10313,10397
Kate Fuller: What's going on?
Richard Gecko: We're having a wet bikini contest, and you just won.

Seth Gecko talking to Jacob Fuller about his wife's death in a car
  crash: Died instantly?
Jacob Fuller: Not quite. She was trapped in the wreck for about six
  hours before she passed on.
Seth Gecko: Whewww! Those acts of God really stick it in and break it
  off, don't they?

Richard Gecko: Where are my glasses?
Seth Gecko: They broke when you fell.
Richard Gecko: Oh, fuck, Seth, that's my only pair!
Seth Gecko: Don't worry about it, we'll get you some glasses.
Richard Gecko: Whatdya mean, don't worry about it. Of course I'm gonna
  worry about it, I can't fuckin' see.
Seth Gecko: When we get to El Rey, I'll take care of it.
Richard Gecko: Yeah, like a Mexican hole-in-the-wall's gonna have my
  fuckin' prescription.

Chet Pussy: Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must go. At the Titty
  Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make
  us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy,
  black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet
  pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy,
  smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin'
  pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, mule pussy, fake pussy! If we don't
  have it, you don't want it!

Seth Gecko: Shit, I been to bars make this place look like a fuckin'
  4-H club.
Richard Gecko: I gotta say I'm with Jacob on this. I been to some
  fucked up places in my time, but that place is fucked up.

Seth Gecko: Now, is my shit together, or is my shit together?
Richard Gecko: Your shit is forever together!

Jacob Fuller: Are you so much a fucking loser, you can't tell when
  you've won?
Seth Gecko: What did you call me?
Jacob Fuller: Nothing. I didn't make a statement. I asked a
  question. Would you like me to ask it again? Very well. Are you such
  a loser you can't tell when you've won? The entire state of Texas,
  along with the F.B.I., is looking for you. Did they find you?
  No. They couldn't. They had every entrance to the border
  covered. There's no way you could get across. Did you? Yes, you
  did. You've won, Seth, enjoy it.

Seth Gecko: Fight now, cry later.

Santanico Pandemonium: I'm not gonna drain you completely. You're
  gonna turn for me, you'll be my slave. You'll live for me. You'll
  eat bugs because I order it. Because I don't think you're worthy of
  human blood, you'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my
  foot stool. And at my command, you'll lick the dog shit from my boot
  heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot". Welcome
  to slavery.

Kate Fuller: Are you okay?
Seth Gecko: Peachy! Why shouldn't I be? The world's my oyster, except
  for the fact that I just rammed a wooden stake in my brother's heart
  because he turned into a vampire, even though I don't believe in
  vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's
  hunky-dory.

Seth Gecko: Do you have a cross?
Jacob Fuller: In the Winnebago.
Seth Gecko: In other words, no.
Scott Fuller: What are you talking about? We got crosses all over the
  place. All you gotta do is put two sticks together and you got a
  cross.
Sex Machine: He's right. Peter Cushing does that all the time.
Seth Gecko: I don't know about that. In order for it to have any
  power, I think it's gonna be an official crucifix.
Jacob Fuller: What's an official cross? Some piece of tin made in
  Taiwan? What makes that official? If a cross works against vampires,
  it's not the cross itself, it's what the cross represents. The cross
  is a symbol of holiness.

Jacob Fuller: Has anybody here read a real book about vampires, or are
  we just remembering what a movie said? I mean a real book.
Sex Machine: You mean like a Time-Life book?

Seth Gecko: Okay hard drinkers, let's drink hard. I'm buyin'.

9252a10407,10424
[After Richard blows up Benny's World of Liquor.]
Seth Gecko: Low profile. Do you know what the words "low profile"
  mean?

Seth Gecko: [to Hostage Gloria] You. Plant yourself in that chair.
Hostage Gloria: What are you planning on doing with--
Seth Gecko: I said plant yourself. Plants don't talk.

Seth Gecko: Let me explain the house rules. Follow the rules, we'll
  get along like a house on fire. Rule number one: No noise, no
  question. You make a noise... [holds up gun] Mr. 45 makes a
  noise. You ask a question, Mr. 45 answers it.

Richard Gecko: Shit, I started to get worried. Where the fuck ya been?
Seth Gecko: Sight seein'.
Richard Gecko: What'd ya see?
Seth Gecko: Cops.

9628c10800
# Ghost and the Darkness, The (1996)
9630,9631c10802,10818
Narrator: Remember this: even the most impossible parts of the story
  really happened.

John Beaumont: I am a monster. My only pleasure is tormenting those
  who work for me.

John Beaumont: I don't care about the thirty dead. I care about my
  knighthood.

Charles Remington: You are right. The devil has come to Tsavo. I am
  the devil.


# Ghost Breakers, The (1940)

Geoff Montgomery: A zombie has no will of his own. You see them
  sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders,
9745a10933,10937
Egon Spengler: I'd like to run some gynecological tests on the mother.
Peter Venkman: Who wouldn't?

Ray Stantz: Ungrateful little yuppie larva.

9775a10968,10973
# Gigi (1958)

Aunt Alicia: Bad table manners, my dear Gigi, have broken up more
  housholds than infidelity.


9895c11093,11105
Roma: All train compartments smell vaguely of shit. It gets so you
  don't mind it. That's the worst thing that I can confess. You know
  how long it took me to get there? A long time. When you die you're
  going to regret the things you don't do. You think you're queer? I'm
  going to tell you something: we're all queer. You think you're a
  thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality? Get
  shut of it. Shut it out. You cheated on your wife? You did it, live
  with it. You fuck little girls, so be it. There's an absolute
  morality?  Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, then be that
  thing. Bad people go to hell? I don't think so. If you think that,
  act that way. A hell exists on earth? Yes. I won't live in
  it. That's me. You ever take a dump made you feel like you'd just
  slept for twelve hours?
9911a11122,11151
# Glory Daze (1996)

narrator: Ever wonder whatever happens to the pampered rich kids the
  liberal arts colleges turn out year after year?

Jack: Let's rage at the dying of the light a little bit.

Jack: People say nothing is forever. I say how do you explain herpes
  or The Grateful Dead?

Guy giving out graduation materials: Psychology major right? I love my
  mother, but not as much as you guys think I do.

Art Professor Luther: It is poetry that will save the world, not
  commerce.

Art Professor Luther: Art isn't just the vomiting up of adolescent
  angst.

Jack's dad: Send me a postcard from skid row.

Jack: Mom, dad, you both screwed up your lives. Now back off and give
  me a chance to screw up mine.

Mickey: I like you - the kind of like you where I get to see you
  naked. No more of this palsie walsie stuff.

Dennis: Preservation through destruction.


9913a11154,11156
Don Vito Corleone: I spend my whole life trying not to be
  careless. Women and children can be careless. But not men.

9962a11206,11220
# Going Berserk (1983)

Grandmother Reese: You're fat! My husband was fat. He's dead now. You
  must eat like a pig!
John Bourgignon: A pig. Yeah, yeah.
Grandmother Reese: Cigarettes'll kill you. My husband smoked, you
  know. He died from smoking too much.
John Bourgignon: I thought you said he died 'cause he was fat!
Grandmother Reese: He was fat, with bad lungs.

Ed Reese: How much money do you make in a year?
John Bourgignon: Oh, in a year, I would say anywhere from thirty to
  eleven thousand a year, sir.


9980,9981c11238
[A laser is about to cut Bond in half.]
9984a11242,11247
[A laser is about to cut Bond in half.]
James Bond: I think you made your point. Thank you for the
  demonstration.
Auric Goldfinger: Choose your next witticism carefully Mr. Bond, it
  may be your last.

10000a11264,11266
Rhett: Marrriage is fun.
Scarlettt: Marriage? Fun? Fun for men you mean.

10160a11427,11456
# Grace of My Heart (1996)

Edna Buxton: Mother, the dress doesn't fit.
Mrs. Buxton: The dress fits the occasion. It's you that doesn't fit.

Record producer: Nice voice, toots. The thing is we already have
  someone just like you.

Record producer: I don't want to burst your bubble, but not only do we
  have someone like you. We are trying to get rid of the someone like
  you.

Denise Waverly: Maybe I put too much of myself into my songs.

Jay Phillips: The only thing I wish for you, and I wish it most
  sincerely, I wish you would get fired.

Denise Waverly: He smokes some grass. He uses some psychedelics. He
  uses peyote, but he is down on hard drugs.

Joel Millner: You look like a vampire. Eat your hamburger. All that
  health food stuff will kill you.

Denise Waverly: What exactly did you like about my record? The
  thickness of the vinyl?

Denise Waverly: Come on girls. This is supposed to be upbeat, not
  uptight. Get happy.


10179a11476,11484
Benjamin Braddock: Where did you do it?
Mrs. Robinson: In his car.
Benjamin Braddock: What kind of car was it?
Mrs. Robinson: Come on now.
Benjamin Braddock: No, I really want to know.
Mrs. Robinson: A Ford.
Benjamin Braddock: Goddamn, that's great. So old Elaine Robinson got
  started in a Ford.

10356a11662,11667
First D.J.: Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties
  'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It's cold out there every day.  What is this, Miami
  Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly.

10473a11785,11787
Mallory: Are you sure it will work?
Miller: There's no guarantee, but the theory's perfectly feasible.

10521a11836,11846
George: Control yourself. You'll spurt.

Norm: God knows what you've unleashed on the unsuspecting South. It'll
  be wine, women, and song all the way with Ringo when he gets the
  taste for it.

Police Inspector: What's his name?
Ringo: Well, if you're gonna get technical about it.

Ringo: Any of you lot put a man in that cupboard?

10530a11856,11858
Man On Train: I shall call the guard.
Paul: Ah, but what? They don't take kindly to insults you know.

10567a11896,11902
Nick: When are you going to get me something with a little relevance,
  a little social conscience, something that doesn't have a goddamn
  Roman numeral in the title? You ever hear of "Hamlet III,"
  "Midsummer Night's IV"?
Angie: They made "Henry V"! It won awards for that little Scottish
  guy!

10631a11967,11969
Elwood P. Dowd: Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor,
  and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.

10923a12262,12263
Sterrn: Relax Harry, I've got an angle.

10966a12307,12309
Vandergelder: Eighty percent of the people in the world are fools and
  the rest of us are in danger of contamination.

10980a12324,12331
John: How do you feel?
Ringo: I used to use me hands.
John: He used to use his hands.

John to Ringo whose arm is trapped inside a mail box: What are you
  doing?
Ringo: Posting a letter.

10990d12340
10999a12350,12352
[John and Paul are trying to get Ringo to cut his finger off.]
Paul: You don't miss your tonsils, do ye?

11035a12389,12400
# Hexed (1993)

Hexina: When you've killed as many people as I have, it's easy to lose
  track. Now, which one was Simon? Tall guy, bad skin?

[Matthew Welsh punches Hexina below the belt.]
Hexina: Found my G spot! Thank you much.

Det. Ferguson: She even attacked a mime. Just found out about
  it. Seems the mime had been reluctant to talk.


11201a12567,12568
Linda Seton: Someone stop me; O someone please, just try and stop me!

11203c12570
  what would General Motors do? and then I do the opposite!
11212a12580,12584
# Hollywood Canteen (1944)

Jane Wyman: I've been Reagan-ized!


11226c12598
[Townsend, Robert]: I believe this movie.  A dude could jump off a
11230a12603,12617
# Home Alone (1990)

Kevin: This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow
  up and get married, I'm living alone.

Kevin: I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap;
  including all my major crevasses; including in between my toes and
  in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I
  washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for
  that just washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll
  pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape.

Marv: He's only a kid Harry.  We can take him.


11310a12698,12699
Maggie to Hook: You need a mother so badly!

11314a12704,12705
Smee: I've just 'ad an apostrophe!

11425a12817,12829
# How To Make An American Quilt (1995)

Marianne: Young lovers seek perfection. Old lovers learn the art of
  sewing shreds together and of seeing beauty in a multiplicity of
  patches.

Finn: As Anna says about making a quilt, you have to choose your
  combination carefully. The right choices will enhance your
  quilt. The wrong choices will dull the colors, hide their original
  beauty. There are no rules you can follow. You have to go by
  instinct and you have to be brave.


11439a12844,12847
[Hawk has just decapitated a villain.]
Hudson Hawk: Looks like you won't be attending that hat convention in
  July.

11593a13002,13013
# Hysterical (1983)

Librarian: The library is closed. All white people must leave.

Kate: Forget therapy, he needs a quaalude.

[In a lifeboat]
Dr. Paul Batton: Now what do we do?
Fritz: We can always dive for the Andrea Doria. I know it's around
  here somewhere.


11762a13183,13187
# In the Heat of the Night (1967)

Virgil Tibbs: They call me MISTER Tibbs!


11804a13230,13236
[Julius discards a styrofoam cup.]
David Levinson: Hey, you have any idea how long it takes for those
  cups to decompose?
Julius Levinson: If you don't move soon, I'm gonna start to decompose.

Capt. Jimmy Wilder: Let's kick the tire and light the fire, big daddy!

11817a13250,13252
[After smacking the alien in the head]
Captain Steven Hiller: Welcome to Earth!

11846a13282,13295
[Nazi colonel Vogel is torturing Henry to get answers]
Colonel Vogel: Tell me about this miserable little diary of yours. The
  book is useless and yet you come all the way back to Berlin to get
  it. Why?
[He slaps Henry in the face with his glove]
Colonel Vogel: Why?
[He slaps him again]
Colonel Vogel: What are you hiding?
[He slaps him again]
Colonel Vogel: What does the diary tell you that it doesn't tell us?
[He tries to slap him again until Henry grabs ahold of his hand]
Professor Henry Jones: It tells me that goose-stepping morons like
  yourself should try reading books instead of burning them.

11877a13327,13336
# Infinity (1996)

Mel Feynman: How old are you?
Richard Feynman: Six.
Mel Feynman: Well then, act your age.

Richard Feynman: Mathematics is a language for the dead. I talk to
  Copernicus every day.


11946a13406,13423
Lestat: You are a vampire who never knew what life was until it ran
  out in a big gush over your lips.

Louis: Lestat killed two, sometimes three a night. A fresh young girl,
  that was his favorite for the first of the evening. For seconds, he
  preferred a gilded beautiful youth. But the snob in him loved to
  hunt in society, and the blood of the aristocrat thrilled him best
  of all.

Louis: Where are we?
Lestat: Where do you think, my idiot friend? We're in a nice, filthy
  cemetery. Does this make you happy? Is this fitting, proper enough?
Louis: We belong in hell.
Lestat: And what if there is no hell, or they don't want us there?
  Ever think of that?
Louis: But there was a hell, and no matter where we moved to, I was in
  it.

12043c13520
  so bad you couldn't cage a rat without reading him his rights.
12045c13522
Dr. Moreau: I have seen the devil in my microscope, and I have chained
12165a13643,13647
Earthworm eating the peach: It's not dirt, but it tastes good.
Spider: "Mmmmm. Better than ladybugs.
Ladybug: What?
Spider: Excuse me.

12174a13657,13666
Earthworm: The sun's so hot! I'm fried!

Earthworm: She won't be coming down here with the spray. She'll be
  coming down here with a shovel. It happened to m' brother. Split him
  right down the middle. Now I have two half-brothers.

James: Excuse me sir, can you tell me where the Empire State Building
  is?
Man: You're on top of it, kid.

12290,12291c13782,13783
Ma Kelly: Bless the saints, it's an ashtray!  I've been thinking of
  taking up smoking.  This clinches it!
12363a13856,13858
John Hammond: We've made living biological attractions so astounding
  that they'll capture the imagination of the entire planet.

12420a13916,13918
Dr. Alan Grant: Mr. Hammond, I have decided not to endorse your park.
John Hammond: So have I.

12526a14025,14027
Grover: Gotta go sleep with a freshman.
Max: Yeah, me too.

12534c14035
Otis: Cool! A dictionary! I'm gonna look up blowjob.
12884,12889d14384
13195a14691,14697
Duncan: And who empowered these colonials to pass judgement on
  England's policies, and to come and go without so much as a "by your
  leave"?!
Cora: They do not live their lives "by your leave"! They hack it out
  of the wilderness with their own two hands, burying their children
  along the way!

13200a14703,14716
Cora: What are you looking at, sir?
Nathaniel: I'm looking at you, miss.

Cora: They're going to hang you. Why didn't you leave when you had the
  chance?
Nathaniel: Because what I'm interested in is right here.

Magua: When the Grey Hair is dead, Magua will eat his heart. Before he
  dies, Magua will put his children under the knife, so the Grey Hair
  will know his seed is wiped out forever.

Hawkeye: I am Le Long Carabine! My death is a great honor to the
  Huron, take me!

13206a14723,14735
Nathaniel: My father's people say that at the birth of the sun and of
  his brother the moon, their mother died. So the sun gave to the
  earth her body, from which was to spring all life. And he drew forth
  from her breast the stars, and the stars he threw into the night sky
  to remind him of her soul. So there's the Cameron's monument. My
  folks' too, I guess.
Cora: You are right, Mr. Poe. We do not understand what is happening
  here. And it's not as I imagined it would be, thinking of it in
  Boston and in London...
Nathaniel: Sorry to disappoint you.
Cora: No, on the contrary. It is more deeply stirring to my blood than
  any imagining could possibly have been.

13254a14784,14810
# Last Unicorn, The (1982)

The Tree: There is no immortality but a tree's love.

Schmendrick the Magician: Oh god, I'm engaged to a douglas fir!

Schmendrick the Magician: Be rary of wousing a rizard's wrath --
  rousing a rizard's -- Be wary of making a magician angry!

The Cat: No cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer.

Prince Lir: Heroes know that things must happen when it is time for
  them to happen. A quest may not simply be abandoned; unicorns may go
  unrescued for a long time, but not forever; a happy ending cannot
  come in the middle of the story.

Molly Grue: What is the use of wizardry if it cannot save a unicorn?
Schmendrick the Magician: That is what heroes are for.

Schmendrick the Magician: She will remember your heart when men are
  fairy tales in books written by rabbits. Of all unicorns, she is the
  only one who knows what regret is -- and love.

The Unicorn: Never run from anyting immortal; it only attracts their
  attention.


13351a14908,14910
Jimmy Dugan: It's supposed to be hard! If it wasn't hard, everyone
  would do it. The HARD, is what makes it GREAT!

13375a14935,14939
Sera: What's up?
Ben: I was looking for you tonight. I don't know if you've a
  boyfriend, or a girlfriend, but I thought maybe we could get some
  dinner.

13403a14968,14974
Tristan: Samuel, God bless you. You are good at everything you try to
  do. I'm sure it'll be the same with fucking.
Samuel: Tristan, really. We're talking about my future wife.
Tristan: Oh, you're not gonna fuck her?
Samuel: No! I'm planning to be with her.
Tristan: I recommend fucking.

13468a15040,15049
# Leopard Son, The (1996)

Narrator: The hyenas are used to the sounds of death and arise
  instantly with larceny in their hearts.

Narrator: Some lessons are hard, others harder still.

Narrator: It is those left behind who suffer most.


13498a15080,15085
Martin Riggs: Look, why don't we just the cut the shit here? We both
  know why I was transferred. People think I'm crazy, in which case,
  I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Or they think I'm
  faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and
  nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.

13815a15403,15414
# Long Kiss Goodnight, The (1996)

Mitch: You know what happens when you make an assumption? You make an
  ass out of u and mption!

Mitch: We just jumped out of a building!
Nathan: Yes, it was all very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo.

[Jackson, Samuel L.]: I'm very frank and earnest with women. In
  Chicago I'm Frank, and in New York I'm Earnest!


13850a15450,15465
# Looking for Richard (1996)

Al Pacino: What's this thing that gets between us and Shakespeare?

Vanessa Redgrave: In England you have had centuries when words are
  totally divorced from truth.

Al Pacino: A person has an opinion. It's only an opinion. It's never a
  question of right or wrong.

Lady Anne: To take is not to give.

Richard III: Was ever woman in this humor won? I'll have her, but I'll
  not keep her long.


13860a15476,15478
David: What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion
  Chinese people be wrong?

13910a15529,15559
Death: You're an interesting young man. We'll meet again.
Young Boris: Don't bother.
Death: It's no bother.

Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Sonja, are you scared of dying?
Sonja: Scared is the wrong word. I'm frightened of it.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: That's an interesting distinction.

Mother: He'll go and he'll fight, and I hope they will put him in the
  front lines.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Thanks a lot, Mom.  My mother, folks.

Drill Sergeant: You want a dishonorable discharge?
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Yes sir, either that or a furlough.

Drill Sergeant: One, two, one, two, one, two.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Three is next, if you're having any
  trouble.

Count Anton Ivanovich: Grushenko? Isn't he the young coward all
  St. Petersburg is talking about?
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: I'm not so young. I'm thirty-five.

Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: If a man said that to me, I'd break his
  neck.
Count Anton Ivanovich: I am a man.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Well, I mean a much shorter man.

Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: I got a perfect build for clothes. I'm a
  twenty-eight dwarf.

13914a15564,15645
Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

Soldier: He was from my village. He was the village idiot.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Yeah, what did you do, place?

[Struck by lightning, Old Nehamkin is a pile of ashes.]
Mother: What is it Old Nehamkin?  You are not looking well!

Sonja: Don Francisco?
Don Francisco: Pardon me?
Sonja: I'm having trouble adjusting my belt. Do you think you could
  come over here and hold my bosom for a while?

Natasha: I never want to marry, I just want to get divorced.

Napoleon: This is an honor for me.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for me.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for ME.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Well, perhaps you're right. Perhaps it IS
  a greater honor for you.
Napoleon: And you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Napoleon: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: I see our Spanish guests have a sense of humor.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: She's a great kidder.
Sonja: No, you're a great kidder.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: No, you're Don Francisco's sister.

Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: I was walking through the woods, thinking
  about Christ. If he was a carpenter, I wondered what he charged for
  bookshelves.

Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: In addition to our summer and winter
  estate, he owned a valuable piece of land. True, it was a small
  piece, but he carried it with him wherever he went.

Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for
  a crime it never committed? The difference is that all men go
  eventually, but I go six o'clock tomorrow morning. I was supposed to
  go at five o'clock, but I have a smart lawyer. Got leniency!

Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: If it turns out that there IS a God, I
  don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst you can say about
  him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Sonja: You were my one great love.
Boris Dimitrovich Grushenko: Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate
  that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm dead.


# Love at First Bite (1979)

Doctor Jeff Rosenberg: You know what Freud said: if you don't pay for
  it, you don't get better.

Doctor Jeff Rosenberg: Look, a check. She paid me everything she owes
  me. She left me, but she learned something. She's a responsible
  person, or whatever.

Cindy Soundheim: We can go to bed, maybe get in a little quickie.
Count Dracula: No. With you, never a quickie, always a longie.

Commissare Woman: Either you spend the rest of your life in an
  efficiency apartment with seven dissidents and one toilet, or you
  gather your aristocratic shit together and split.
Count Dracula: Renfield.
Renfield: Yes, master.
Count Dracula: What is an efficiency apartment?
Renfield: I don't know, master.  What's a toilet?


# Lover Come Back (1961)

Carol Templeton: You kissed me and I was thrilled!
Jerry Webster: A kiss? What does that prove? It's like finding out you
  can light a stove. It doesn't make you a cook.

13938a15670,15677
Hot-Lips Houliahan: This isn't a hospital! It's an insane asylum! And
  it's your fault!

Gen. Hamilton: Henry, I have some reports here from your Major
  O'Houlihan that I frankly find hard to believe.
Henry Blake: Well, don't believe them then, General.  Good-bye. [hangs
  up]

14099a15839,15847
# Maedchen mit schwachem Gedaechtnis (1956)

Billy: I learned to make love in German.
Anny: I beg your pardon?
Billy: Yes, very thoroughly.
Anny: I think I'd better leave...
Billy: Oh, I meant 'declare my love'.


14105a15854,15861
# Magnetic Monster, The (1953)

Howard Denker: It's hungry! It has to be fed constantly - or it will
  reach out its magnetic arm and grab at anything within its reach and
  kill it. It's monstrous, Stewart, monstrous. It grows bigger and
  bigger!


14254a16011,16014
Harry Doyle: That's all one goddamn hit.
Assistant: You can't say goddamn on the air.
Harry Doyle: Ahh, don't worry, nobody is listening anyway.

14323c16083,16086
Brodie: My grandmother always said, "Why buy the cow...when you get
  the sex for free."

Brodie: What, you think just because I read comics I can't kick some
14328,14336c16091,16099
T.S.: But they're engaged.
Brodie: Doesn't matter, can't happen.
T.S.: Why not? It's bound to come up.
Brodie: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you
  think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I gurantee you he
  blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her
  womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child?
T.S.: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He's an alien, for christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological
14361c16124
Brodie: Wait, what's whoopee?
14363c16126
Brodie: What?  Like fucking?
14368,14369c16131,16143
Brodie: Well we were thinking of something simple, but hey, if you
  want to destroy the stage, we're all for that.

Brodie: One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True
  story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up
  on the news. It was embarassing for my relatives and all. But the
  next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete
  with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I saw him in the
  pet store. He was buying another cat! I said, "Walt, what the hell
  are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your
  ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie,
  how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin
  was a weird guy.
14373a16148,16151
Spade: We didn't believe your story, Mrs. O'Shaughnessy, we believed
  your 200 dollars. I mean you paid us more than if you had been
  telling us the truth, and enough more to make it alright.

14386a16165,16166
Kasper Gutman: By gad sir. You are a character!

14467a16248,16252
Peachy Carnehan: Keep looking at me. It helps to keep my soul from
  flying off.

Peachy Carnehan: Pardon me while I fall down laughing! HA, HA, HA!!

14660a16446,16451
# Mask, The (1961)

Dr. Barnes: I must. I must experience the greatest act of a human
  mind: to take another life.


14839a16631,16637
# Men Are Not Gods (1936)

Edmund Davey: Perhaps you'll hear from me shortly. Something
  of...interest to your paper.
Tommy Stapleton: Delighted! I write the obituaries.


14851a16650,16656
# Merry Widow, The (1934)

[First Line]
Count Danilo: Are you pretty? Or beautiful?
Sonia: Gorgeous.


14884a16690,16693
Jonathan Mardukas: How long till we get to L.A., Jack? [Jack doesn't
  answer.] None of your fucking business! Just curious.  Shut the fuck
  up!

14942a16752,16756
Chorus referring to Oedipus: Look, here's a man who killed his father
  and slept with his mother.
Jocasta (Oedipus' mother): I hate to tell you what they call my son in
  Harlem.

15023a16838,16841
The President: What's his name ?
Angela: I call him Sweetheart.
The President: Hey, Sweetheart!

15064c16882
Ethan Hunt: You've never seen me very upset.
15078a16897,16901
Doug Roberts: I looked down from our bridge and saw our captain's palm
  tree! Our trophy for superior achievement! The Admiral John
  J. Finchley award for delivering more toothpaste and toilet paper
  than any other Navy cargo ship in the safe area of the Pacific.

15142a16966,16975
George: You like her, don't ya?
Simone: Of course I like her.
George: Yeah, but you like her in that special way.  In the songs.
Simone: What songs?
George: Well, I've sold myself for a couple of dykes.
Simone: She needs me George.
George: And you needed me to get her.
Simone: Haven't you ever needed someone?
George: All the time.

15202,15203c17035,17036
Dennis: Help!  Help!  I'm being oppressed!  Come see the violence
  inherent in the system!  Violence inherent in the system!
15302a17136,17140
# Mortal Kombat (1995)

Liu Kang: You may see through my soul but you'll never get it.


15312a17151,17152
Farmer Vincent: Meat's meat, and a man's gotta eat

15414a17255,17258
Don Jon: I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his
  grace...If I had my mouth, I WOULD BITE! If I had my liberty, I
  would do my liking. In the meantime, SEEK NOT TO ALTER ME!

15420a17265,17280
Dogberry: Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.

Dogberry: Are you good men and true?
All: Yea!
Dogberry: Being chosen for the Prince's watch. This is your charge:
  You are to bid any man stand, in the prince's name.
Francis Seacole: How if a' will not stand?
Dogberry: Why, then take no note of him, but let him go.
Verges: If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the
  prince's subjects.
Dogberry: True! and we are to meddle with none but the prince's
  subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets.
George Seacole: We will rather sleep than talk.
Dogberry: Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for
  I cannot see how sleeping should offend.

15430a17291,17347
# Mujeres al borde de un ataque de nervios (1988)

Ivan: How many men have you had to forget?
Pepa: As many as the women you remember.

Pepa: Follow that cab!
Cabdriver: I thought this only happened in the movies.

Pepa: Hello. I'm the mother of the notorious Crossroads Killer. When
  my son comes home after one of his famous crimes, his clothes are
  just filthy.
[Pepa holds up a bloody shirt. The police arrive.]
Policia I Spot: Where are the clothes your son wore--
Policia II Spot: At the time of the murder?
[Pepa takes a clean shirt out of the dryer.]
Pepa: Right here. Sparkling clean.
Policia I Spot: No trace of blood.
Policia II Spot: Or guts.
Policia I Spot: Unbelievable!
[Pepa holds up a box of detergent.]
Pepa: Ecce Homo. It's unbelievable.

Pepa: You could have killed yourself!
Candela: That was the idea. I'm desperate.
Pepa: So am I, but I don't jump off terraces.
Candela: I didn't know where to go. I couldn't face my folks. It's bad
  enough that I became a model.

Carlos: What happened?
Pepa: She fell asleep.
Candela: So suddenly?
Pepa: Yes. The strangest things can happen suddenly.
Paulina: She must turn herself in, go to jail, and let the jury decide
  her case.
Pepa: I don't understand.
Paulina: She's committed a crime.
Pepa: Her only crime was falling in love and being afraid. I'd do the
  same.
Paulina: I'm sure.

Candela: Men keep taking advantage of me. I always realize it when
  it's too late. Look how the Arab world treated me. I sure didn't
  deserve that.

Pepa: For two days everyone has been saying no to me. Now it's my turn
  to say no.

Pepa: That lady is dangerous.
Cabdriver: No lady's dangerous if you know how to handle her.

Paulina: You're weak, Ivan.
Ivan: Yes, sweetheart.
Paulina: Don't agree with me.
Ivan: But you're right.
Paulina: Sometimes I like to be wrong.


15454c17371,17373
Zoot: I'm, ah... I'm...
Dr. Teeth: Zoot.  Sax is your axe.  Uh oh, Zoot skipped a groove
  again.
15577a17497,17501
[in song]
Harold: Seventy-six trombones led the big parade / with a hundred and
  ten cornets close at hand / They were followed by rows and rows of
  the finest virtuosos / the cream of every famous band!

15667a17592,17594
Benjy Stone: I think I'm going to be ill
Alan Swann: Ladies are ill, Stone. Gentlemen vomit.

15798a17726,17731
# My World Dies Screaming (1958)

Sheila Wayne: All I know is that death in its most hideous form waits
  for me at the top of those stairs.


15880a17814,17818
# Naked Dawn, The (1955)

Santiago: Aww! You know how to die. You watch plenty others.


16150a18089,18107
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger
  helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna
  helper myself, don't you, Clark?
Clark Griswold: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.

Clark Griswold: Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?
Cousin Eddie: Oh, nothing but the best.

Aunt Edna: Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie? He sure as
  Hell can't take a hint.
Cousin Eddie: Well, I didn't want to ask you, Clark, you know, but
  could you maybe spare a little extra cash?
Clark Griswold: Sure, Eddie, how much do you need?
Cousin Eddie: About fifty-two thousand dollars.

16157a18115,18123
[After driving off the road.]
Ellen Griswold: I think I broke my nose.
Rusty Griswold: I stabbed my brain.
Audrey Griswold: I just got my period.

Rusty Griswold: Is that a real gun, Mom?
Ellen Griswold: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your
  father may be going away for a little while.

16236a18203,18208
# Net, The (1995)

Angela: For future refrence you should know that the living tend to
  interest me just a little more than the dead do.


16238a18211,18214
Howard Beale: Yesterday I announced on this program that I was going
  to commit public suicide. Admittedly an act of madness. Well, I'll
  tell you what happened: I just ran out of bullshit.

16316a18293,18294
G-Money: I had my jimmy whacked every day!

16324a18303,18305
Racetrack: You know that sure thing I was talkin' about? Well,
  somebody forgot to tell the horse.

16357a18339,18341
Jack: So what do you say, Spot?
Spot: I say... that what you say... is what I say.

16416a18401,18403
Willy: If bachlorette number one isn't out here in half a tick I'm
  gonna ice bachlorette number two, got it?

16607a18595,18605
# Not for Publication (1984)

Cy Katz: Hey, what my girls do after the show is their own business.
Lois: Yeah, but I hear you take fifty percent.
Cy Katz: Fair's fair.

[In a pilotless plane]
Barry Denver: It takes years to get your pilot's license.
Lois: You're taking a crash course!


16625a18624,18626
Sam: I did not tell my friends about my father because the last thing
  i wanted was to be different from my friends.

16718a18720,18729
# Oh, Heavenly Dog! (1980)

Browning: Are you in organized crime?
Bart: I'm in Parliament.
Browning: Six of one.

Higgins: This is not a wedding ceremony, Mr. Browning. You are not
  obligated to repeat everything I say.


16764c18775
[Seagal, Steven]: Well, let's see, that's natives 8, oil workers 0.
16766,16767c18777,18778
[Seagal, Steven]: I guess it doesn't really matter since I kind of
  blew up all the evidence
16769c18780
[Seagal, Steven]: I wouldn't dirty my bullets
16906a18918,18930
# One Rainy Afternoon (1936)

Yvonne: A taxi is just not the place to kiss in.
Philippe Martin: No? A lot of people would be surprised to know that.

Yvonne: Do you think they will send him to jail?
Toto: Oh sure, he hasn't got a chance. Now if he were only a
  murderer...

Prosecutor: In weaving his subtle net, he employed all the insidious
  devices known to his perfidious profession.


16965a18990,18993
Senator: There's a saying, Fletcher: To the victor belongs the spoils.
Fletcher: There's another saying, Senator: Don't piss down my back and
  tell me it's raining.

17006c19034
"Wienie King": I'm the Wienie King!  Invented the Texas Wienie!  Lay
17009c19037
"Wienie King": Cold are the hands of time that creep along
17012,17013c19040,19041
  and grow more lovely with the passing years. Heh! That's hard to say
  with false teeth!
17015,17016c19043,19044
John D. Hackensacker III: That's one of the tragedies of this life --
  that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always
17019a19048,19060
# Palookaville (1996)

Russ: I'm not talking about a life of crime, just a momentary shift in
  lifestyle.

Russ: The thief gets the benefit of the doubt. Most crooks in this
  country use cap guns.

Russ: Why don't I take you to California. You can have fresh squeezed
  orange juice every day. If you've got a back yard there, you've got
  fresh fruit.


17248a19290,19295
# Phantom of Chinatown (1940)

James Lee Wong: Greetings. Only the eyebrows of youth would have the
  temerity to call the beard of age at such an hour.


17591a19639,19643
Bodhi: It's basic dog psychology, if you scare them and get them
  peeing down their leg, they submit. But if you project weakness,
  that promotes violence, and that's how people get hurt. Peace,
  through superior fire power.

17705a19758,19765
Vivian: I'm not trying to land him; I'm just using him for sex.

Vivian: I'm gonna treat you so good, you're never gonna let me go.

Vivian Ward: You're late.
Edward Lewis: You're stunning.
Vivian Ward: You're forgiven.

17708a19769,19771
Edward Lewis: So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?
Vivian Ward: She rescues him right back.

17721a19785,19791
# Pride and Prejudice (1940)

Mr. Bennett: An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. Your
  mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins. And
  I will never see you again if you do.


17737a19808,19813
# Prince Who Was a Thief, The (1951)

Emir Mokar: Son of a noseless mother! Maggot-brained child of a
  jackass!


18036a20113,20115
Honey Bunny: Any of you fuckin' pricks move, and I'll execute every
  mother fuckin' last one of ya.

18052c20131
Marcellus: No.  I'm pretty fuckin' far from okay.
18077,18079c20156
Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
18081,18087c20158,20160
Jules, pointing his gun: Say "what" again.  SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I dare
  you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say "what" one more goddamn
  time!
18090c20163
Brett: He's bald...
18092,18096c20165,20173
Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Brett: NO!
Jules: Then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?
Brett: I didn't!
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And
  Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except
  Mrs. Wallace.
18101c20178
Marcellus: No one needs to know about this except you, me, and
18108,18109c20185,20186
[Marcellus is telling Butch to take a dive.]
Marcellus: The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting.
18179c20256
Jules: We're in the Valley, Vincent! Marcellus ain't got no friendly
18295a20373,20378
# Q & A (1990)

Bobby Texador: Oh, you a detective now? You a detective? You couldn't
  find a Jew in Rockaway.


18319a20403,20406
Loomis: You aren't going to hit me again are you ?
Grimm: I haven't hit anybody since I was nine.
Loomis: Yeah, but it was me you hit !

18588a20676,20678
Mitch: We have to get back at Professor Hathaway, it is a moral
  imparative.

18808c20898,20904
McQuarg: If it was the summer of 1894, I'd play games with you,
  sister. But life is much simpler now.

Barbara Willis: That's a...a very polished little speech for
  a...barbarian.

[After being slapped by Barbara]
18864a20961,20976
# Rembrandt (1936)

Rembrandt van Rijn: And of a sudden he knew that when one woman gives
  herself to you, you possess all women. Women of every age and race
  and kind, and more than that, the moon, the stars, all miracles and
  legends are yours. Brown-skinned girls who inflame your senses with
  their play, cool yellow-haired women who entice and escape you,
  gentle ones who serve you, slender ones who torment you, the mothers
  who bore and suckled you; all women whom God created out of the
  teeming fullness of the earth, are yours in the love of one woman.

Rembrandt van Rijn: What is success? A soldier can reckon his success
  in victories, a merchant in money. But my world is insubstantial. I
  live in a beautiful, blinding, swirling mist.


18881a20994,20998
Archie: AWWW! Dookie Wookie hurt his widdle hand!
Duke: Fuck you, Archie! Just for that you're not in the gang anymore!

Bud: I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either!

19069a21187,21188
Freddy to Tina: If you love me, you'll let me eat your brains.

19085a21205,21212
# Return of the Seven (1966)

Vin: I heard you were riding shotgun for the Overland Stage.
Chris: I was. My doctor told me to quit. For my health.
Vin: Why?
Chris: Too much lead in the air.


19138a21266,21268
Lady Anne: No beast so fierce but knows some touch of pity.
Richard III: But I know none, and therefore am no beast.

19164a21295,21313
# Ridicule (1996)

Gregoire Ponceludon de Malavoy: Judas kept excellent company.

Abbe de Vilecourt: Half naked and with the name of Stinking Bear, and
  he almost makes us look ridiculous.

Monsieur Bellegarde: Don't laugh with your mouth open. It's too
  rustic.

Monsieur Bellegarde: Honesty and wit are so rarely combined.

Gregoire Ponceludon de Malavoy: Peasants feed aristocrats as well as
  mosquitoes.

Abbe de Vilecourt: Fresh from the country, you must find our courtly
  ways ridiculous.


19200a21350,21352
Yeager: I'm a fearless man, but I'm scared to death of you.
Glennis: Oh no you're not.  But you should be.

19204a21357,21366
Von Braun: We would send up a pod--
Johnson: A "pot"?
Von Braun: A POD, Mr. Senator. It vould go like a cannonball, and come
  down like... a cannonball, splashing down into ze ocean vith a
  parachute to preserve ze life of ze specimen inzide.
Johnson: Space-a-man?
Von Braun: SPE-CI-MEN! I was thinking of using a zhimp.
Johnson: A JIMP? Well what'n the HELL is a jimp??
Von Braun: CHIMP, Mr. Senator, a chim-pan-zee!

19243a21406,21418
Joel Goodson: When it came right down to it, I just wasn't attracted
  to her.
Miles Dalby: Should never stop you.

Joel Goodson: Don't steal anything. If I come back here and anything's
  missing, I'm going straight to the police. I mean it.
Lana: Go to school, Joel. Learn something.

Jackie: I want you to call Lana. It's what you want. It's what every
  white boy off the lake wants.

Joel Goodson: College women can smell ignorance...like dogshit.

19291a21467,21479
Norman: Truth is, I'm not sure I want to leave.
Jesse: Montana?  Why?  It'll always be here.
Norman: Not Montana.
Jesse: Then what? WHAT?
Norman: I'm not sure I want to leave you.

Norman: Dear Jesse, as the moon lingers a moment over the bitterroots,
  before its descent into the invisible, my mind is filled with
  song. I find I am humming softly; not to the music, but something
  else; some place else; a place remembered; a field of grass where no
  one seemed to have been; except a deer; and the memory is
  strengthened by the feeling of you, dancing in my awkward arms.

19311a21500,21523
# Road to Wellville, The (1994)

Virginia Cranehill: The fresh air, the exercise, and the pleasure of a
  leather saddle between one's thighs.
Eleanor Lightbody: Why, Virginia, what do you mean?
Virginia Cranehill: Bicycle smile, I believe they call it.

Charles Ossining: The doctor is a very great man.
George Kellogg: He's a fuck pig! I hate him!

Endymion Hart-Jones: The enemas take some getting used to, but, in
  time, you'll learn to look forward to them like an old friend with a
  cold nose.

Ida Muntz: Do you masticate, Mr. Lightbody?

Eleanor Lightbody: I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress
  that answers to a name.

William Lightbody: Oh, no, no, I can't eat fifteen gallons of yoghurt.
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: Oh, it's not going in that end,
  Mr. Lightbody.


19329a21542,21544
Rob: If it's a boy, call him Robert. If it be a lass, name her after
  my love, Mary McGregor.

19374a21590,21593
Sheriff: I'm going to cut his heart out with a SPOON!
Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin?
Sheriff: Because it would HURT more, you idiot!

19446a21666,21668
Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Actually, I'm a biochemical superfreak, but I
  still need a gun.

19615a21838,21846
Rosencrantz Shouldn't we be doing something... constructive?
Guildenstern What did you have in mind? A short, blunt human pyramid?

Rosencrantz Do you think Death could be a boat?
Guildenstern No, no, no... Death is... not. Death isn't. The ultimate
  negative. Not-being. You can't not be on a boat.
Rosencrantz I've frequently not been on boats.
Guildenstern No, no, no... What you've been is not on boats.

19925a22157,22159
Colonal Roy Slade: if i were the man i was five years ago i'd take a
  flame thrower to this place.

20012a22247,22251
John Doe: What sick ridiculous puppets we are / and what gross little
  stage we dance on / What fun we have dancing and fucking / Not a
  care in the world / Not knowing that we are nothing / We are not
  what was intended

20056a22296,22323
# Search and Destroy (1995)

Dr. Waxling: Just because it happened to you does not make it
  interesting.


# Searching for Bobby Fischer (1993)

Bruce: Do you know what it means to have "contempt" for your opponent?
Josh: no.
Bruce: It means to hate them. You have to hate them Josh, they hate
  you.
Josh: But I don't hate them.
Bruce: Well you'd better start.

Fred: You know you could give up the game, and that would be alright
  with me. In fact, I want you to give it up.
Josh: But I can't.
Fred: Why not?
Josh: Because I have to play.  *I* have to.

Bruce: What is chess, do you think? Those who play for fun or not at
  all dismiss it as a game. Those who devote their lives to it, for
  the most part say that it's a science---it's neither. Bobby Fischer
  got under it like no one before him and found, at its center: a
  heart.


20070a22338,22340
Cynthia: I can still turn a few heads...
Roxanne: ..and a few stomachs!

20370,20371c22640,22645
Prosecutor: And that also is very convenient, isn't it, Mr. Dufresne?
Andy Dufresne: Since I am innocent of this crime, I find it decidedly
  INCONVENIENT that the gun was never found.

Red: Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous
  thing. Hope can drive a man insane.
20380,20381c22654,22701
Red narrating: These walls are kind of funny like that. First you hate
  'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, gets so you
  depend on them. That's institutionalized. They send you here for
  life, that's exactly what they take from you. The part that counts,
  anyways

Red narrating: His first night in the joint, Andy Dufresne cost me two
  packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound.

Red narrating: I have no idea to this day what those two Italian
  ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some
  things are better left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing
  about something so beautiful, it can't expressed in words, and it
  makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared
  higher and farther than anybody in a great place dares to dream. It
  was as if some beautiful bird had flapped into our drab little cage
  and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments,
  every last man in Shawshank felt free.

[On playing opera records in the prison.]
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so
  you don't forget. Forget that there are places in the world that
  aren't made out of stone. That there's a--there's a--there's
  something inside that's yours, that they can't touch.

Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't take that away
  from you.

Andy Dufresne: If they ever try to trace any of those accounts,
  they're gonna end up chasing a figment of my imagination.
Red: Well, I'll be damned. Did I say you were good? Shit, you're a
  Rembrandt!
Andy Dufresne: Yeah. The funny thing is--on the outside, I was an
  honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a
  crook.

Red narrating: Andy Dufresne--who crawled through a river of shit and
  came out cleen on the other side.

Red narrating: Forty years, I been askin' permission to piss. I can't
  squeeze a drop without saying something.

Red reading a note left by Andy: Remember, Red, hope is a good thing,
  maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.

Fat Prisoner: I'm not supposed to be here! I want to go home! I want
  my ma!
Another Prisoner: Yeah, I had your momma, she wasn't that great!
20390a22711,22716
Red narrating: We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt
  like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of
  our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Andy--he
  spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on
  his face, watching us drink his beer.

20407a22734,22753
Boggs: Now, I'm gonna open my fly and you're gonna swallow what I give
  ya. And when you swallow mine you gonna swallow Rooster's cause ya
  done broke his nose and I think he oughta have something to show for
  it.
Andy: Anything you put in my mouth you're gonna lose.
Boggs: Naw, you don't understand. You do that and I'll put all eight
  inches of steel in your ear.
Andy: All right. But you should know that sudden serious brain injury
  causes the victim to bite down hard. In fact, I hear the bite reflex
  is so strong they have to pry the victims jaws open with a crow bar.
Boggs: Where do you get this shit?
Andy: I read it. You know how to read, you ignorant fuck?

[Andy has asked Red to procure Rita Hayworth.]
Andy Dufresne: Can you get her?
Red: It'll take a few weeks.
Andy Dufresne: Weeks?
Red: Well yeah, Andy. I don't have her stuffed down my pants right
  now, sorry to say, but relax, I'll get her.

20414a22761,22778
Red: Rehabilitated? Now let me see. You know, I don't have any idea
  what that means.
Parole official: Well, it means that you're ready to rejoin society.
Red: I know what you think it means, sonny. To me it's just a made up
  word; a politician's word. So young fellas like yourself can wear a
  suit, and tie, and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I
  sorry for what I did?
Parole official: Well, are you?
Red: There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in
  here; because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then
  then, a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want
  to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him
  the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old
  man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's
  just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and
  stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a
  shit.

20484,20486c22848,22850
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Facts, Hercule, facts!  Nothing matters
  but the facts.  Without them the science of criminal investigation
  is nothing more than a guessing game.
20488,20489c22852,22853
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You are forgetting the most important
  fact: motive.
20494,20495c22858,22859
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Oh, don't be ridiculous. Would you kill
  someone who tore your dress off?
20497c22861
Maria Gambrelli: Tell me, why do so many men smoke afterwards?  No
20572a22937,22948
Lecter: You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your
  cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube
  with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of
  bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash,
  are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desparately
  to shed?  Pure West Virginia. What's your father, dear? Is he a coal
  miner? Does he stink of olean? You know how quickly the boys found
  you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of
  cars...while you could only dream of getting out... getting
  anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI.
Clarice: You see alot, Doctor.

20579a22956,22977
# Silent Hunter (1995)

Max: What did you want to be when you were that age?
Jim Paradine: I wanted to be Batman.
Max: Batman? Even then you wanted to be a crimefighter.
Jim Paradine: Nah, I just wanted to be in the Justice League so I
  could hang out with Superman, Green Lantern, and the Flash.

Jim Paradine: I figure we're not supposed to make it better. We're
  just supposed to keep it from getting worse.
Max: Then, who makes it better?
Jim Paradine: Well, they do. Their values, I think, are going to shape
  the country. We just gotta teach them good values before the bad
  guys teach them bad values.

Jim Paradine: Sweetheart, what about tomorrow? And the day after that?
  And the day after that?

Jim Parandine: Lately I've been having a hard time turning off being a
  cop.


20668a23067,23069
Lena Lamont: If we bring a little joy into your humdrum lives, it
  makes us feel as if our hard work ain't been in vain for nothing.

20671a23073,23095
Debbie Hunt: Come to where the flavor is. Come to Debbie country.

Cliff Poncier: Look, Janet you know I see other people still. You do
  know that don't you?
Janet Livermore: You don't fool me.
Cliff Poncier: Janet, I could not be fooling you less.

David Bailey: Tonight I'll be the super me.
Steve Dunne: What if the super you meets the super her and the super
  her rejects the super you?
David Bailey: Then it's no problem.
Steve Dunne: Uh-huh Why?
David Bailey: Because it was never you, it was just an act. I live my
  life like a French movie Steve.

Cliff Poncier: This negative just makes me stronger.

Janet Livermore: So I'm not an Amazon woman?
Steve Dunne: You're from the high plains Janet.

Steve Dunne: My dad left home when I was eight. You know what he said
  to me? Have fun, stay single. I was eight.

20675c23099
  in an Eddie Haskell kind of way.
20695a23120,23128
Ouisa Kittredge: There is so much you don't know. You are so smart and
  so stupid.
Paul: I'll be treated with care if you take me to the police. If they
  don't know you're special, they kill you.
Ouisa Kittredge: Oh, I don't think they kill you.
Paul: Mrs. Louisa Kittredge, I am black.
Ouisa Kittredge: I will deliver you to them with kindness and
  affection.

20776a23210,23215
# Skyscraper Souls (1932)

Jake Sorenson: Oh golly, I can't believe it. Am I dreaming?
Jenny LeGrande: Well, where do you want to be pinched?


20790a23230,23238
# Sleepers (1996)

Lorenzo: Michael was the most sexually experienced of us, which means
  he had kissed a girl on more than two occasions.

Lorenzo: I couldn't look at him. He might look right through the fear
  and the shame, right through to the truth.


20792a23241,23246
Annie: Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it!
  Time, distance...nothing could separate them because they knew. It
  was right. It was real. It was...
Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You
  want to be in love in a movie.

20897a23352,23368
Charlie Mackenzie: Harriet! Har-ee-et. Hard-hearted harbinger of
  haggis.

Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it's a well known fact, Sunny Jim, that
  there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world,
  known as The Pentaveret, who run everything in the world, including
  the newspapers, and meet triannually at a secret country mansion in
  Colorado, known as The Meadows.

Harriet Michaels: Do you actually like haggis?
Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I
  think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Harriet Michaels: So bright women intimidate you?
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. But it's a
  shame I'm going to have to destroy you.

20904,20906c23375,23383
Harriet Michaels: What do you look for in a woman you date?
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, I know everyone always says sense of humor,
  but I'd really have to go with breast size.

Charlie Mackenzie: You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah,
  it's called Fuck You. It's mostly just head butting and then kicking
  people when they're on the ground.

Tony Giardino: Charlie, two words: therapy.
20976a23454,23455
Duncan: This party is about to become a historical fact.

21400,21401c23879,23884
Vern: Ha! Ha! Very funny, what am I gonna eat?
Teddy: Why don't you eat your dick?
Chris: It'll be a small meal!

Gordie: Shut up!
Vern, Chris, and Teddy: I don't shut up, I grow up and when I look at
21407a23891,23896
Teddy: Fine, you guys can haul your candy asses half way across the
  state and back, but I'll be on the other side relaxing with my
  thoughts.
Gordie: Do you use your left hand or right hand for that?
Teddy: You wish.

21481a23971,23972
Kirk: Who am I to question the captain of the Enterprise?

21600a24092,24095
Chancellor Gorkon: You don't trust me, do you? I don't blame you. If
  there is to be a brave new world, our generation is going to have
  the hardest time living in it.

21613a24109,24114
Chang: I can see you Kirk. Can you see me?
Kirk: Chang!
Chang: Oh, now be honest, Captain. Warrior to warrior. You do prefer
  it this way, don't you, as it was meant to be. No peace in our
  time. "Once more onto the breach, dear friends."

21635a24137,24145
Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi: For more than a thousand generations the Jedi
  were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy. Before the
  dark times. Before the Empire.

Luke: How did my father die?
Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until
  he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi
  knights. He betrayed and murdered your father.

21851a24362,24392
Lenny Nero: This is not like "TV-only-better" ... this is life.

Lenny Nero: See ... I can get you what you want, I can. I can get you
  anything, you just have to talk to me, you have to trust me. You can
  trust me, 'cause I'm your priest, I'm your shrink ... I am you main
  connection to the switchboard of he soul. I'm the magic man
  ... Santa Claus of the subconscious. You say it, you think it, you
  can have it.

Lenny Nero: This tie cost more than your entire wardrobe ... it's the
  one thing that stands between me and the jungle.

Lenny Nero: Two million years of human evolution and that's the best
  idea you can come up with.

Lenny Nero: Look ... everyone needs to take a walk to the dark end of
  the street sometimes, it's what we are.

Lenny Nero: Bullet-resistant?! What ever happened to bullet-proof??

Max: Peltier: He's still workin' the party ... actin' smooth like
  nothin's nothin'.

Lenny Nero: This is what we laughingly refer to as a plan, right?

Mace: This is your life, right here, right now! It's real-time, you
  hear me, real time! Time to get real, not playback. You understand
  me?

Faith: I like the feeling of someone watching me.

21920c24461,24464
Blanche: Deliberate cruelty is unforgiveable, and the one thing I've
  never been guilty of.

Blanche: Oh look, we have created enchantment!
21937c24481,24482
Blanche: Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of
  strangers.
22012a24558,24586
# Stunt Man, The (1980)

Eli Cross: Do you not know that King Kong the first was just three
  foot six inches tall? He only came up to Faye Wray's belly button!
  If God could do the tricks that we can do he'd be a happy man!


# Substance of Fire, The (1996)

Issac Geldheart: You think I'm going to publish some trashy novel by
  some slicko hipster?

Martin Geldheart: What is the one thing that landscape architecture
  requires?
Student: A social motif.
Martin Geldheart: Right.

Sarah Geldheart: Tell me the truth. Does anybody actually finish a
  book once they have formed an opinion of it?

Social Services worker: It's a process. No one person can come to a
  conclusion.


# Sudan (1945)

Nebka: One meets such nice people in one's dreams.


22029a24604,24605
Harry Callahan: Nobody, but nobody, puts ketchup on a hot dog anymore!

22210a24787,24791
President: This is your president. On behalf of my country and in the
  name of the other leaders of the world with whom I have today
  consulted, I hereby abidicate all authority and control over this
  planet to General Zod.

22237a24819,24835
# Surviving Picasso (1996)

Pablo Picasso: You are in the labyrinth of the Minotaur. You should
  know that the Minotaur consumes at least two maidens a day.

Dora Maar: You may be a great painter, but you are morally
  corrupt. You've contaminated the whole world

Pablo Picasso: I really like intelligent women. Sometimes, of course,
  I like stupid ones too.

Pablo Picasso: I love wild cats. They are always pregnant because they
  think of nothing but love.

Pablo Picasso: I make a lot of mistakes, but so does God.


22326a24925,24929
# Sword of the Valiant (1982)

Sir Gawain: Does your mother know you do this?


22357a24961,24966
# Tank Girl (1995)

Tank Girl: ...You know, it's like what you say when you first have
  sex. 'Daddy is this the right thing to do?'


22385a24995,25001
Travis Bickle: June twenty-ninth. I gotta get in shape now. Too much
  sitting is ruing my body. Too much abuse is going on for too
  long. From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50
  pullups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more
  destroyers of my body. From now on will be total organisation. Every
  muscle must be tight.

22404c25020
Travis Bickle: Are you talking to me? NO, are you talking to me?
22409a25026,25031
# Tea and Sympathy (1956)

Laura Reynolds: Years from now when you talk about this - and you will
  - be kind.


22422a25045,25048
Baka:Will you lose a throne because Moses builds a city.
Rameses: The city that he builds shall bear my name, the woman that he
  loves shall bear my child. So let it be written, so let it be done.

22471a25098,25107
Commander of the Host: Let us go from this place, men cannot fight
  against a God.
Rameses: Better to die in battle with a God then to live in shame.

Moses: The Lord of Hosts will do battle for us. Behold his mighty
  hand.

Moses: Go, proclaim liberty throughout all the land, and to all the
  inhabitants thereof.

22546a25183,25189
Terminator: Plasma rifle in the 40 watt range
Clerk: Hey just what you see, pal.
Terminator: Uzi 9 millimeter.

Kyle Reese: I came across time for you Sarah. I love you and I always
  have.

22615a25259,25268
# That Thing You Do! (1996)

[When a bandmember objects to signing a contract]
Lenny Haise: Are you crazy? A man in a really nice camper wants to put
  our songs on the radio.

Mr. White: I don't want any of this lover's lament crap. I want
  something upbeat, something snappy.


22826a25480,25486
King Louis: This world is an uncertain realm, filled with
  danger. Honor underminded by the pursuit of power, freedom
  sacrificed when the weak are oppressed by the strong. But there are
  those who oppose these powerful forces, who dedicate their lives to
  truth, honor, and freedom. These men are known as Musketeers. Rise,
  D'Artagnan, and join them.

22839c25499
[The three musketeers and D'Artagnan are escaping from the Cardinal's
22842c25502
Athos: We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos.
22844c25504,25505

[During a chase, in the Cardinal's own coach]
22987a25649,25654
# To Have and Have Not (1944)

Slim: You know, Harry, sometimes you're alright, and the rest of the
  time, you're just a stinker.


23006a25674,25679
# Tobacco Road (1941)

Lov Bensey: I want a young wife. I ain't gonna take no 23 year old
  woman for a wife, have everybody laughin' at me.


23095a25769,25770
Hondo: Your ego is writing cheques your body can't cash.

23126a25802,25811
Dale Tremont: How could I have ever fallen in love with a man like
  you!
[Dale slaps Jerry, then storms off.]
Jerry Travers: She loves me.

Jerry Travers: I think I feel an attack coming on. There's only one
  thing that can stop me.
Dale Tremont: Why, you must tell me what it is!
Jerry Travers: My nurses always put their arms around me.

23137c25822,25833
Nick: I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met
  at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped
  scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover whom she last saw
  on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to the
  leader of the French Underground.
Hillary: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.

Doctor Flamond: Do you realize what this could mean to the starving
  nations of the world?
Nick: Why, they would have enough salt to last forever!

Hillary: People change, hairstyles change, interest rates fluctuate.
23141,23143c25837
Hillary: And I'll miss you most of all scarecrow!
23198a25893,25898
# Torrid Zone (1940)

Nick Butler: I've never seen such luck !
Lee Donley: Lucky in cards, unlucky in love.


23268a25969,25977
Renton: Phew! I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmil scored
  against Holland in 1978!

1st Interviewer: So you lied on your transcript.
Spud: Well, I just wanted to get my foot in the door.
2nd Interviewer: What exactly attracted you to the laser industry?
Spud: I don't know, pleasure...more pleasure in other people's
  leisure.

23363a26073,26086
# Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)

Gil Turner: You can't fire me, I'm your son.
Mac Turner: Prove it!

Gil Turner: Do you smell perfume?
Jack Harrison: Yes.  I know what was in this room.
Gil Turner: What?
Jack Harrison: The Creature from Estee Lauder.

Doctor Malavaqua: Radu, attack!
Radu: Master, I've had enough aggravation for one day.


23376a26100,26107
# Trees Lounge (1996)

Marie: You don't go to work every day. You go to a bar every day.

Tommy: He's a little old man. Can't you take some of the wrinkles out?
  You've given birth to Mr. Magoo.


23498a26230,26236
Don Vincenzo: See this? [Holding a clenched fist, then striking
  Clifford.] A punch, a slam to the nose. Smarts, doesn't it? You get
  that pain shootin' through your head, your eyes fill up with
  water. I know it ain't any kind of fun, but for what I have to offer
  you, that's as good as it's gonna get. And it's never gonna get that
  good again. So, please, Mr. Worly, tell me where your son is.

23555a26294,26297
Clarence Worley: If there's one thing this last week has taught me,
  it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not
  have it.

23558a26301,26302
Noelle: Let's get shit-faced and see what happens.

23589a26334,26349
# Truth or Consequences N.M. (1997)

Curtis: What you gotta understand is that it's a game out here. And
  everyone that plays the game knows the rules. I know 'em. That cop
  sure as hell knows 'em. He's the good guy and I'm the bad guy. It's
  his job to catch me and it's my job not to be caught. And I'll do
  whatever is needed to stay ahead of the game.

Gordon: Please, take whatever you want, but don't hurt us.
Raymond: Take whatever we want? What the hell do we look like to you,
  prosciutto bandits?

Curtis: I don't know why everyone's yelling at me. I thought it went
  pretty well.


23677a26438,26444
Frank: What are you looking for, a key?
Roz: No, I'm lookin' for your brain.
Frank: You think someone would actually leave a key?
[Roz reaches above the door and finds a key]
Roz: This key? Is this the key you're talkin' about? I'm just
  checkin'.

23874a26642,26646
William Munny: All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there,
  I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only
  gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife. All his friends. Burn
  his damn house down.

24061c26833
[Chong, Tommy]: That's the most acid I've ever seen anyone take.  I
24106c26878
[Runyon, Jennifer]: I like a man who's not afraid to play hard.  You
24112a26885,26887
Verbal Kint: I just can't believe we're going to walk into certain
  death!

24144a26920,26925
Kujan: He was dead just long enough for the murder rap to blow
  over. And then he had lunch.

McManus preparing to snipe: Old McManus had a farm, E, I, E, I, O. And
  on that farm he shot some guys, bada bing, bada bing bang boom.

24237a27019,27039
# Vibes (1988)

Consuelo: You like?
Nick Devey: Parts of me are already applauding.

Ingo Swedlin: The count of three, and they're all over the mountains.
Nick Devey: They being... ?
Ingo Swedlin: Your nuts.
Nick Devey: Just to clarify.

Ingo Swedlin: Where did you get your degree from, anyway?
Dr. Scott: University of Oklahoma.
Ingo Swedlin: That's great! If we have a stampede, you'll know just
  what to do.

Nick Devey: Do you own any dresses that rise above mid-bosom?

Sylvia Pickel: Can someone please settle this. In a Rolls Royce
  Corniche, the bar opens from left to right, doesn't it?


24338a27141,27151
Lou: A man looks in the abyss, there is nothing staring back at
  him. At that moment he discovers his character. That keeps the man
  out of the abyss.

Lou: The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things
  you don't want to do.

Bud: If you step out that door, I'm changing the locks.

Bud Fox: Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them.

24437a27251,27255
# Waxwork (1988)

Dracula: Raw meat. You do like raw meat?


24439a27258,27264
Wayne: I mean, there is two Daren Stevens right - Dick York and Dick
  Sergeant. Yeah right as if we wouldn't notice! Oh hold on, Dick
  York, Dick Sergeant, Sergeant York... Wow, thats weird!

[Admiring a guitar in a music store.]
Wayne: It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine.

24613a27439,27451
# Weekend (1967)

Joesph Balsam: I am here to inform these modern times of the
  grammatical era's end and the beginning of flamboyance especially in
  cinema.


# Weekend at Bernie's (1989)

Larry: What kind of a host invites you to his house for the weekend
  and dies on you?


24615a27454,27458
Gary: I want to see her aerobicize.

Lisa: If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. Mmm, it's a
  mindscrambler. Hurts so good.

24655a27499,27504
Dr. Leo Marvin: You think he's gone? He's not gone. That's the whole
  point! He's never gone!
[Leo opens the door; there's Bob.]
Bob Wiley: Is this some radical new therapy?
Dr. Leo Marvin: YOU SEE?!?!

24700a27550,27628
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is that men and women cant be friends
  because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and
  there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my
  knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with
  you.

Harry Burns: And was it worth it? The sacrifice for a friend you dont
  even keep in touch with?
Sally Albright: Harry, you might not believe this, but I never
  considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.

Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the
  beginning of the relationship. Thats why I have never taken anyone
  to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally Albright: Why?
Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you dont take
  someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How
  come you never take me to the airport anymore?
Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but
  actually you are the angel of death.

lHarry Burns: Men and women can't be friends. Unless both of them are
  involved with other people. Then they can. This is an amendment to
  the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the
  pressure of possible involvement is lifted. That doesn't work either
  because what happens then is the person you're involved with can't
  understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just
  friends with, like it means something is missing from the
  relationship and wanted to go outside to get it. Then when you say
  no, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the
  relationship, the person you're involved with then accuses you of
  being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with,
  which you probably are, I mean, come on, who the hell are we
  kidding, let's face it, which brings us back to the earlier rule
  before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low
  maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you
  think you're low maintenance.

Sally Albright: You know, I'm so glad I never got involved with you. I
  just would have ended up being some woman you had to get up out of
  bed and leave at 3:00 in the morning and go clean your andirons, and
  you dont even have a fireplace, not that I would know this.

[Harry and Sally discussing orgasms]
Sally Albright: Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry Burns: Well, they haven't faked it with me.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because I know.
Sally Albright: Oh. Right. Thats right. I forgot. Youre a man.
Harry Burns: What was that supposed to mean?
Sally Albright: Nothing. Its just that all men are sure it never
  happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so
  you do the math.

Harry Burns: I came here tonight because when you realize you want to
  spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your
  life to start as soon as possible.

Harry: Shel? Sheldon? No. You did not have great sex with Sheldon.
Sally: I did too.
Harry: No. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root
  canal, Sheldon's your man. But humping and pumping are not Sheldon's
  strong suits. It's the name. Do it to me, Sheldon. You're an animal,
  Sheldon. Ride me, big Sheldon. It doesn't work.

24711,24712c27639,27646
Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a
  symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

Sally: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on
  top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of
  vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream
  but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.
24762a27697,27698
Lucy thinking: It's amazing how exotic Wisconson... isn't.

24792a27729,27730
Chuck Gieg: I think I'm gonna choke on feel good.

24798a27737,27739
Dolores: I would have been here right after you called, but I had to
  shake the weasels.

24808a27750,27755
Judge Doom: Soon, where Toontown once stood, will be a string of gas
  stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly
  prepared food, tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful,
  wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God,
  it'll be beautiful!

24839a27787,27802
# Who's Harry Crumb? (1989)

Eliot Draison: It's a pterodactyl egg. It's fossilized. It's ninety
  million years old. In the entire world, only two of these have ever
  been found.
Harry Crumb: You know, that may be worth something.

Harry Crumb: I am Djour Djilios.
Suki's Salon Receptionist: Could you spell that please?
Harry Crumb: I don't think so. Try it with a "D".

Helen Downing: Back then, dinner and a movie might have gotten you
  into some girl's panties, but it's gonna take a lot more than that
  to get into mine.


24871a27835,27840
Lula: That Johnnie is one clever detective. You know how clever?
Sailor Ripley: How clever?
Lula: He told me once he could find an honest man in Washington.

Sailor: Rockin' good news.

24997c27966
Daryl Van Horne: I see men running around trying to put their dicks
25002,25010c27971,27978
Alexandra Medford: I think... no, I am positive... that you are the
  most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life.  You know,
  in the short time we've been together, you have demonstrated EVERY
  loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered
  a few new ones.  You are physically repulsive, intellectually
  retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive,
  selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you
  smell.  You're not even interesting enough to make me sick.
25030a27999,28004
Poacher: This here bird's for my pot. This bird's for his pot. What
  makes you think I've got anything for your pot?

Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them
  here, and we want them now!

25123a28098,28111
# Wizard of Oz, The (1991/I)

Dorothy: Well, we're not living in a trailer park, so we'll be all
  right.

Tin Man: Without a heart I can never really know what it would be like
  to love someone, or ever really understand trashy novels.

Tin Man: It would take a man of steel to get into that place. Wait a
  minute, tin is like steel, I'll becomne the Tinmanator!

Dorothy: If you're the Wizard then I'm Judy Garland!


25157a28146,28152
# Woman in Red, The (1984)

Joe: Do you believe this man asking whether my Teresa would fool
  around?
Buddy: I find it hard to imagine your wife sleeping with YOU.


25171a28167,28176
Peggy Day: I wish I could make a little money writing the way you do.
Nancy Blake: If you wrote the way I do, that's just what you'd make.

Nancy Blake: You're so resourceful, I ought to go to you for blood.
Sylvia Fowler: You ought to go to someone.

Mrs. Moorehead: Well, cheer up, Mary; living alone has its
  compensations. Heaven knows it's marvelous being able to spread out
  in bed like a swastika.

25273a28279,28286
# X - the Man with the X-Ray Eyes (1963)

Dr. James Xavier: We're blind to all by a tenth of the
  universe.Dr. Sam Brand: My dear friend, only the Gods see
  everything.
Dr. James Xavier: My dear doctor, I'm closing in on the Gods!


25387a28401,28403
Bond: If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?
Tanaka: Why I... love you.

25393a28410,28421
# Young Bess (1953)

Thomas Seymour: If you were queen of England, what would you do, eh?
  Would you give your admiral the opportunity to do great deeds?
Queen Elizabeth I: I'd give him the opportunities he never dared dream
  about. I'd send him around the globe as the Portuguese do. I'd send
  him to the New World to let the Spaniards know that they are no
  longer masters of it.
Thomas Seymour: That won't be easy. We're a small country, Bess.
Queen Elizabeth I: That can be remedied, Tom. It CAN be remedied!


25395a28424,28426
Dr. Froederick Frankenstein: For what we are about to see next, we
  must enter quietly into the realm of genius!

25397c28428
Dr. Froederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
25399c28430
Dr. Froederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
25401c28432
Dr. Froederick Frankenstein: No... "Frederick."
25403c28434
Dr. Froederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronensteen."
25405c28436
Dr. Froederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.  [He pronounces it
25408c28439
Dr. Froederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
25537a28569,28573
Zardoz: The gun is good!
Exterminators: The gun is good!
Zardoz: The penis is evil; the penis shoots seeds that create life,
  while the gun only destroys life and purifies the land.

25538a28575,28580


# Zebrahead (1992)

Nikki: Why you gotta be so loud?
Nut: To be heard.